I come bearing gifs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstipatedGibbon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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To the person who stole my MS Office License.

I will find you. You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Regclusive
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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what do you call a cuban space explorer?

a castronaut

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Do you know why the researchers have to take a ship to explore the Arctic circle?

Because there's Norway beyond Scandinavia!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shreya_shree
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I think space exploration is a waste of time.

There are many better things to do for leisure than stare at a computer keyboard all day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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The sailors were exploring the waters between the cliffs of the inlet.

It was the fjord expedition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DownwardSpirals
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......

"Ah still love Vista Baby....."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.

I yelled out, "Oasis!"

Edit: My first ever attempt at a dad joke, and i never thought i would get anywhere this much upvotes. Thank y'all so much!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Where do space explorers leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Columbus,Marco Polo etc are not the bravest explorers of all time.

Its the Internet Explorer.

It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Visiting the pyramids

I wasΒ exploring the pyramids and suddenly came across a beautiful golden sarcophagus.Β  The guide and I both gasped and farted at the same time, identical farts.Β  It was the first time I ever experienced a toot in common.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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What brand of chips is slower than Internet Explorer?

DeLay’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiesG92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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My College Internship Almost Ruined My Life

I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.

When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.

The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.

Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.

After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.

Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.

Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!

I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instrumentsβ€”but it sure might be sheep or goat.

Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.

I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.

I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????

So I fucking called the museum

got the guy who interviewed me on the lineβ€”and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?

He said, yes, BUT.......

"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungcfa
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed.

They couldn’t get their Bering Strait.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta

Now it’s a Ford Focus

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/racas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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A Viking explorer came home to find his name removed from the town register. When his wife complained, the chief apologized and said,

β€œI must have taken Lief off my census”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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What European people make the best explorers for Antarctica?

The Polish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoeDownClown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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Looking Sharp
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KunGDark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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While hiking in Madagascar an explorer came across a hot spring.

It was a site for sore aye-ayes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craniate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Exploring the Pacific...
πŸ‘︎ 541
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Who is a famous Explorer from the past that has been largely forgotten?

Internet Explorer.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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If there were a study exploring the pornography preference of people in each country, we could finally see what this world is coming to.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHamgurgler
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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My girlfriend had wanted to go exploring abandoned caves with me for years.

Finally, I caved in.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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My mechanic said there was nothing wrong with my...
πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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Who is the Most famous Explorer

Me: Christopher Columbus?

Dad: Your Stupid, it's Internet Explorer

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Youre cute
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withmoxie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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You wanna be an explorer?

That’s Qatarded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GangrenePeen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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After many years of traveling the globe, an explorer was recently eaten by cannibals.

He died as he lived, a seasoned traveler.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theageofpisces
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Pythagoras the explorer (long)

Everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem, but few people know that Pythagoras was an avid and accomplished explorer who visited the new world before the Vikings or Columbus ever laid eyes on the continent. On one of his early visits he encountered a village and happened upon a woman, heavily pregnant sitting on the hide of a bear. He asked her what she was doing and she told him that she wanted to give birth on the hide so that her child would have the strength of a bear when he was born. As he walked further into the main part of the village he saw another woman, again quite pregnant sitting on the hide of a deer. When asked she replied that she wanted her child to have the grace and agility of a deer. Seeing a trend he was taken aback when he saw a very pregnant woman sitting on the hide of a hippopotamus. Surprised both at the choice and at the existence of such a creature, he wondered what she must wish for her child, but she replied that there just weren’t any other hides available for her so she took what she could get.

Many years later when he returned to the same village, he encountered the first woman and asked about her child. Was he as strong as a bear? She pointed him out and sure enough, her son was busy ripping a stump out of the ground with his hands, as strong as a bear! Amazed, he sought out the second woman, who pointed out her son, running through a field at great speed, as graceful and agile as a deer! Intrigued to say the least, Pythagoras sought the third woman. She pointed out her son, and he didn’t believe his eyes - he was both as strong as a bear and as graceful as a deer; a mountain of a man with grace and poise.

He wrote in his now-famous travel journal his amazing discovery; that the sons of the squaws on the two smaller hides are equal to that of the squaw on the hippopotamus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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One day I hope to explore all the cool things in Madison County, Iowa...

But I’m just not ready to cross those bridges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theprints
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What do you call a Norwegian scuba diver?

A fjord explorer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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What is your finger's least favorite place to explore?

the Carpal Tunnels

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostreDeLaNoche
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Why did the explorer get lost when navigating with a compass?

He was bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/airhogg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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You have to be an Internet Explorer...

To go on a Safari.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geareduptiger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A British explorer is leading an expedition through an uncharted valley deep in Africa.

About halfway through the valley, drumbeats started rolling from the mountains around them. Everyone in the party was confused, but the local guides started to panic.

"We HAVE to get out of here by sundown, OR ELSE".

The explorer orders his men to pick up the pace, and keep moving. A couple hours later, The drums start beating more and more frantically. Again, the guides say: "Keep moving, WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE".

A bit later, the men hear horns echoing from the hills.

The explorer asks his guides: "what was that?"

They respond: "theres no time, we need to be out BEFORE SUNDOWN, we only have a few hours!!!".

Exasperated, the explorer asks "Why? What could be so urgent? And why do we have to get out by sundown?".

The guides reply, "at sundown, the bagpipe solo starts!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeb1122
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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Before she got her monkey, Dora the Explorer used to have a cute little pet calf.

He was a Dora bull.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Why does Dora the Explorer love chip credit cards?

There's no more swiping

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flipsometits
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Dad, why are you still using internet explorer?

What do you mean use? Aren't I the internet explorer?

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Did you know Dora The Explorer recently released her first music album?

It has unfortunately been received very poorly by music critics and fans alike. You can hear all about it on Pandora.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cart0166
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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The Monk and The Cow

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconbuddy95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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I recently learned Dora the Explorer invented the chip on credit cards.

She has always been against swiping.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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