I was almost expelled from archery school...

but my Dad pulled some strings!

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👤︎ u/McAnixza
📅︎ Jun 23 2019
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Why was the cat expelled from school?

Because she is a Cheetah

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👤︎ u/kalekent
📅︎ Sep 14 2019
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This is so unfair! I was just expelled for plagiarism...

I got in trouble for something I didn’t do.

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📅︎ Jun 29 2019
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In the spirit of Halloween: Why was the ghost expelled from school?

Bad boohavior.

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👤︎ u/jskoker
📅︎ Oct 27 2018
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I got expelled from school on pajama day.

Its not my fault I sleep naked.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/__Odelay__
📅︎ May 22 2018
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What spell do the teachers at Hogwarts use to Expel the students?

Expelliarmus

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📅︎ Jun 28 2018
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I heard the creator of autocorrect died

I didn’t even know he was I’ll

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📅︎ Sep 14 2019
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What do you call a homo police dog?

A gay-9.

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📅︎ Feb 16 2019
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Why don't farts ever graduate high school?

Because they always end up getting expelled.

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📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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Yes, I can!

Got my daughters with some quick thinking last night.

I was annoying my younger daughter with some fatherly banter when she complained, "Dad, can you NOT?"

To which I replied, "Yes, I can! I just take two bits of string and tie them together."

My bonus reward was the sound of my older daughter noisily expelling the big mouthful of drink she'd just had back into her cup, before laughing her head off.

My work here is done...

👍︎ 991
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📅︎ Sep 22 2016
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Schools for Ants

What policy means that ant schools are forced to expel their most promising basketball players?

"Zero taller-ants"

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📅︎ Apr 19 2017
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New years diet

So my dad got us pretty good in a family text conversation.

So my little brother sends us a picture of a bunch of juice he has made and put in jars in his fridge.

LB: Going on a juice diet for the next 30 days, gotta loose 50 lbs in 2017!

Dad: I cooked beans and ham soup. I'm on a expelling air diet.

Dad: I've lost 5psi in 2days!

Dad: I'm thinking about getting a methane generator and going off the grid.

Me: 🙄

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📅︎ Jan 04 2017
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