European American Puns

They're only ahead of us by about 5-6 hours.

I'll see myself out

European

as I left the table to use the bathroom:

“Son, I want you to remember that you’re an American now”

“And you’ll be an American when you leave the restroom “

“But, while you’re in the restroom....European “

Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"

"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."

"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"

"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"

And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.

Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')

It doesn't matter whether you're African, American, or Asian

In the bathroom, European

Me: If you're American when you go into a bathroom and American when you come out. What are you while you're in there?

Me: European

My daughter: what if you're in a hurry?

My daughter: you're a Russian

Whenever I have to go outside and let him take care of business I always ask him if he is an American.

After a blank stare and no response I always go, "Aha! European!"

when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

Before you go to the bathroom you're American.

When you're in the bathroom European.

If you're an American when you go into the bathroom, and you're an American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?

European.

(My six year old told me this. Couldn't be more proud!)