Why does everyone always say Europeans are soooooo far ahead of Americans?

They're only ahead of us by about 5-6 hours.

I'll see myself out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajustyle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2015
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If you're American when you go in the restroom and you're American when you come out. What are you when you're in the rest room?

European

πŸ‘︎ 938
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magic_Milkman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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My father said to me

as I left the table to use the bathroom:

β€œSon, I want you to remember that you’re an American now”

β€œAnd you’ll be an American when you leave the restroom β€œ

β€œBut, while you’re in the restroom....European β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreativeMedicine7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Some gems from my old man...

Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"

"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."

"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"

"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"

And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.

Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xingped
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2013
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My dad's old standby

It doesn't matter whether you're African, American, or Asian

In the bathroom, European

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manfredmustard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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My daughter out dadjokes me

Me: If you're American when you go into a bathroom and American when you come out. What are you while you're in there?

Me: European

My daughter: what if you're in a hurry?

My daughter: you're a Russian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seobrien
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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I Treat My Dog Like A Son

Whenever I have to go outside and let him take care of business I always ask him if he is an American.

After a blank stare and no response I always go, "Aha! European!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/polostring
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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You're American

when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Equal_Soft
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Before you go to the bathroom you're American

Before you go to the bathroom you're American.

When you're in the bathroom European.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smart31069
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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If you're an American when you go into the bathroom

If you're an American when you go into the bathroom, and you're an American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?

European.

(My six year old told me this. Couldn't be more proud!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3pears
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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