So I'm currently watching all 6 star wars movies to prep myself for the new one coming out.
I just now finished watching Attack of the Clones. At the part where C3PO has his head attached to the battle droid, abs R2D2 removes it and starts dragging his head on the ground, 3PO says "this is such a drag"
Now as long as I can remember I've always HATED that line. I saw the movie for the first time in theaters when I was 16 years old and thought that little joke was the absolute dumbest and pointless part of the entire movie.
Now 13 years later I watched it again and when he said that line I just found myself laughing at it like it was actually really funny. I recognized that cringe in it but all kept laughing for like two minutes at it.
Does this mean I need to find someone to impregnate immediately?
Same thing goes with most dad jokes. Especially puns. Always hated them but have really been enjoying the posts on this sub lately.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
It always makes me cosec tired
Every month it's exactly the same woman.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
I haven't looked Bach since!
Nevertiti.
That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.
You are not a loan.
I didn’t know i was that out of touch
I’ll leave out the negative jokes here.
Only the positive ones!
You can tri to stop me,
Adding these together just makes it so much better.
We may be divided because of this,
But not all jokes are made equal,
But y=Mx+b jokes are great, yet at some point we have to draw a line. It’s an especially slippery slope to go down.
Especially since our founding fathers made it a point to guarantee us the right to bare arms
But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.
Especially when I say Meet Patty
Especially Class A
It's called Instant Pot.
I’ve quit cold turkey.
Especially their hit song, Enter Sandbox.
It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds.
Pro-teens
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡The Elder-rich
...guess that makes it a coke-lloquialism.
Unless you are donating blood.
My friend opened the fridge and a bag of pumped breastmilk fell out.
"Oh, sorry!" I said. "The fridge is boobie-trapped!"
Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.
Yeah, especially when using the same recycled joke 50 million times.
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
- Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
- Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
- Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
- Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
- Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
- Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
- Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
- Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
- Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
- Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
- Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
- Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
- Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
- When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
- Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
- Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
- Always go straight home after work or school
- Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
- Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
- Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.
Especially mice.
...especially as they constantly come out with tons of con-science.
I am especially attracted by gravity, it keeps me grounded.
Especially when eating snow.
It will be called wikileeks.com
Especially when his name is Steve.
They especially enjoyed watching the clowns.
We won a backstage tour after the show, and happened to notice that all the people who were tallying up the tickets and sales were dressed as clowns, and happened to be little people...but none of them had been in the performances. When I asked the tour guide why they were dressed up even though they weren’t in the show, he replied, “Don’t you know? It’s the little jesters that count”.
Especially if my last words were "Help! I fell in the wall!"
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
He especially liked logging in.
It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit ➡It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds
