Epitome of self control
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LogangYeddu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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The most conceted word in the English language is epitoME.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fingerbob73
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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My father is the epitome of dad joke(r)s.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DarkDefenderDaxter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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My dad is the epitome of this subreddit, so I want to share one of his ultimate go-to stories:

When I was a young boy, I was playing in my front yard with my brother. A man in a van pulled up and asked us to help him find his puppy. My brother, being older and wiser, ran inside. I, however, fell for the prank and hopped in the van, eager to find the dog. The man became hostile and I quickly realized he was kidnapping me. I had to think fast. I was panicking.

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" I shouted loudly.

The man was unhappy, but took us to a gas station so that I could go. He grabbed my arm and looked me in the eyes and sternly said "If you're up to anything, I'll kill you! Don't say anything to anybody. You better come right back!"

I went into the bathroom and looked around. A window! I quickly scrambled on top of the toilet and popped the window open. I hauled myself up to the opening and began to pull myself out and to freedom when a hand grabbed my foot! It was the man! He began pulling my leg...

Just like I'm pulling yours.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sparty_party
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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The epitome of what I one day hope to be

Terrible? More like wearable.

http://imgur.com/tX4dJJt

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KingSpartan15
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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My neighbor is the epitome of dad humor.

For some background, he is a fire chief and has his share of gruesome stories.

Him, "Did you hear about the kid who got hit by the train?" (Some tracks run by our neighborhood.)

Me, "No, that's awful. When did that happen?"

Him, "Earlier this week. It happens all the time. Their eyes are always blue..."

Me, "Why are their eyes blue?"

His teenage daughter, rolling her eyes, "One blew this way, one blew the other way."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TJtheV
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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Pretty sure this epitomizes what a dad joke is
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bonzai88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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Hey Dad could you give me a hand please?

I already gave you two, so what's the third one for?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coloredboyadvance
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2020
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You want to hear something cultural?

Something cultural

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lukeroberts_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Step dad's ugly Christmas sweater

http://imgur.com/2qEvhzq.jpg

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dbrank
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 13 2015
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Not your average dad joke...

So, I realize this isn't entirely in the spirit of dad jokes, but I think you all will get a groan or three in the end...

Basically, my dad is the epitome of /r/dadjokes. He is a walking talking dadjoke. So, it was quite the shock to our family when we recently found out that he has stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma (the Bad Luck Brian of cancers.) and doesn't have much longer to live. Anyhow, his favorite image on the internet is of a dead deer on the side of the road with a "Get well soon" balloon tied to its leg. It cracks him up. Tickles him pink in fact...so, being the morbid family we are, that lead to this...

http://imgur.com/h2cCZQq

He might be dying, but I still call him dad, and he is still quick with a joke. As you can see his sense of humor hasn't gone anywhere. Our family's sense of humor is what gets us all through. I believe my favorite bad joke through all of this was his buddy who said, "Frank, that is the worst spray tan I've ever seen in my life." (You see, the cancer is shutting down his liver and he appears yellow from jaundice.)

I'm not looking for any sympathy here, dad's die all the time. That's a tough fact of life. I just wanted to spread a fine dadjoke.

Thanks for reading.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/billegoat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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Anytime someone has to say, "excuse me," to my father.

"You're excused."

I started using it myself and you get a mix of reactions. Usually a short chuckle. So short I'd probably call it a chuck.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bigbertha42
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2014
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The story of my friend Sam

HI Iโ€™m Tim the turtle, yes a real turtle. And I would like to tell you the story of my best friend. I once had a friend by the name of Sam. Sam of course was a clam. A real live honest to goodness clam. He was my best buddy, but unfortunately he smoked and drank and ran around with loose women (and a few men). I was more of the goodie two shoes type. I never drank, never smoked, I didnโ€™t even swear. But for some reason Sam and I were the best of friends. I guess you can say we were the epitome of opposites attracting. One day as we were hanging out walking along the beach Sam, after his fifth cigarette in a row, had a heart attack and died. I was heart broken. My best friend died right there in front of me and he never repented his evil ways. I was sure he would spend eternity in damnation. Sigh. Being the goodie two shoes type I was still extremely healthy well into my old age. I missed my friend terribly for many years. On his birthday I would host a party and invite his old stripper girlfriends and poker buddies around to relive stories. It was always a fun evening, but in the end left me more lonely than before. Eventually, my broken heart couldnโ€™t stand it anymore and I too died. I was pleased to find that there was a heaven. Being an almost saint I was whisked directly past the line to the Pearly Gates to be greeted by St. Peter. A big grin erupted on his face and he came right around his desk to give me a great big hug. โ€œTimโ€, he said, โ€œYou have been such a good person back on earth that God has asked me to grant you any wish you would like before even entering heavenโ€. To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I thought for a minute, I guess God expected me to ask for more time on earth, but I knew what I really wanted to do was to visit with my old friend Sam. So I asked. Poor St. Peter didnโ€™t know what to say. You know Sam is in Hell right? Well I knew that was a strong possibility so I wasnโ€™t surprised. Peter excused himself for a while and went to check with the big guy himself. He was gone quite some time, but eventually he returned. Peter said my request was approved, but under a few conditions. First, I would have to carry a golden harp as a passport back into heaven. This harp could only be carried by a good soul so I couldnโ€™t be replaced by a look alike demon. Second, I would have to return by midnight. God didnโ€™t want me to face too much temptation. I agreed to these conditions and took the highway down to hell. (Nope n

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dendari
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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