I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.

Guess they needed an emergency service.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksteel_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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A man rushed to dial 911 one evening when his wife displayed early signs of a stroke.

"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."

"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.

"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muchacho1994
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Presidents Day Joke - Did you know the Secret Service has changed protocol?

Did you know when President Trump arrived in office the secret service had to change their protocol manuals. Instead of yelling β€œget down” in emergency situations, they now say β€œdonald duck!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZigZachGamer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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She's only 4!!

We've been teaching our 4 year old angel/terrorist daughter to use the phone so that in an emergency she'll be able to call me/SO/emergency services. I noticed when i got home yesterday that I had a missed call on my mobile phone from the land-line number, so I asked her: "Did you call me earlier?" Quick as a flash she replys: "No, I called you Dad!" My work here is done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SystemCanNotFail
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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Fireman told me this one

Really close family friend of ours told us this one that allegedly happened while he was on duty. I'm going to tell it from his perspective, as it reads the 'funniest'.

So I'm on duty and we have to go and put out a simple brush fire off to the side of a busy intersection. Since it's the dry season of Southern California literally the smallest spark can cause a giant fire you know, so we're trying to put it out pretty fast. So we arrive there and we notice that an ambulance is speeding down the road to this one pretty sharp bend, and you know, they're making haste since they're on a code 3. A code 3 is where both the siren and the lights are on at the same time and they obviously have something that they need to do. Anyways, they're speeding around this corner and one of the backdoors gets flung open and a cooler flies out and lands at the curb. By this point we've handled the fire and we're just assessing the damage, like where it's spread, stuff like that, so I go and retrieve the container and I open it and inside there's a human toe in there. I tell most of my crew and we decide that we'll get the toe back to the paramedics and then head back to the station. So we call the emergency services and we let them know that some EMT's have left a human body part and didn't come back to get it. They tell us, "we'll have someone come pick it up soon". We wait about 20 minutes and no one arrives and we're all a bit startled that no one's come back to come pick up a fucking human toe, so we call back and they give us the same thing. Half an hour goes by so I decide to call AAA and see if they can help us. Sure enough, AAA is able to help us and within 10 minutes they dispatch the help we need by sending us a toe truck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIGRAHAMIX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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My grandfather-in-law got my pastor

We were visiting another church's service, and helped pick up folding chairs afterward. Darrel (my grandfather-in-law) took a while to emerge from the storage closet where all the chairs were going, and when he finally came out, my pastor asked sarcastically, "Are you done?!"

His response: "No! I'm Darrel!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2015
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