My friend told me I did a terrible Elvis impression
I replied "Thank you, thank you very much."
My dad had a Christmas ornament of Elvis dressed as an Angel on his tree. I asked my Dad why little angel Elvis wasn’t wearing any pants. He replied:
Because he died on the toilet
What can't Elvis Presley help to do?
He can't help falling in love with you.
My pet mouse, Elvis just died..
What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?
"You ain't nothing but a groundhog."
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Then you can get married by Elvis.
I called to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act…
It was an automated phone system which said, "Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…"
Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
What do you call Elvis sitting on a chair?
I just tried Elvis Costello's new Mediterranean sausages and they were great.
I think Olive salami is here to stay
I just took an unsolicited phone call telling me I’d won either £200 or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert.
They said to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show...
How does Elvis like his Martini?
Elvis Presley wrote a song about where he styled his hair.
Elvis Presley considered converting to Islam before he died. He even settled on a Muslim name:
To my underlings at work: You know why it was really shitty what happened to Elvis?
A suppressed groan, and minor eye roll later:
You know, because he died on the crapper?
I've always wanted to start and Elvis Presley themed Steakhouse...
Who doesn't Love Meat Tender!
I asked my sister why she was still dating that homeless bloke who thinks he’s Elvis.
She said “I’m courting a tramp, I can’t walk out”
“I have an idea for a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses.
It will be for people who love meat tender.
"Can you cut my hair like Elvis Presley, please?" I asked the hairdresser.
He said, "Uhuh."
I said, "Thank you very much."
Did you hear they canceled the Elvis hologram?
I asked the barber to cut my hair like elvis
He swung his hips, sang hound dog, and shaved it all off
What does Elvis Presley say after a jailhouse fight?
Shank you. Shank you very much.
So I heard there's this new Elvis impersonator in Vegas... but he came from India
He performs under the name Elvis Singh
"If Elvis were alive today he'd still be singing"
to which my uncle replied "I'm pretty sure he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin"
Elvis and Enis
You know, back in the day Elvis had a twin brother Enis, who was just as great as Elvis if not better, but he was soon forgotten after Elvis got the name 'Elvis the Pelvis'.
Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.
It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show
My pet mouse Elvis just died.
My pet mouse Elvis died last night.
My pet mouse ‘Elvis’ died today
My poor mouse Elvis died last night..
He was caught in a trap..
My son’s pet hamster Elvis died last night..
Our pet mouse Elvis died today...
It was caught in a trap...
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