Edinburgh Fringe Puns

The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"

• "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
• "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
• "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
• "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
• "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
• "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
• "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
• "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
• "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham

I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

I think I might have Florets.

(Edinburgh fringe festival 2019: credit to the comedian Olaf Falafel)