he said "hmm, he rings a bell"
and I said "No, he played guitar"
He says “My campfires are better, man.”
Cause he has little legs!
Donkey Ho-tay!
Two tickets, two pair of dice.
I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."
Have you seen his Electric Revenue?
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
They call him Darth Vedder.
They named I️t Spuddy Professor
Who wouldn't trust a pope that's had a run-in with the devil?
Because Money can't buy you Love.
Dad: What are you eating?
Girl: Edamame
Dad: Eddie... what?
Girl: Soybeans
Dad: Hola Beans! Soy Dad
...lo siento.
Because the little moron was a little more on.
Pets I want to have....
An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named Beeyoncé. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.
a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I told her, “It doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.”
I opened the cabinet to pull out the chocolate syrup when I noticed a chocolate fingerprint on the top. I jokingly asked her if she did that to mark it as hers since she had told me she might have to hide it to keep me from using it all. So, we go back and forth over whose fingerprint it is when she grabs it and takes it over to the dog. She holds it up and goes, "Eddie, look. Whose is that?" Of course, he's a dumb dog, so he just whines and wags his tail. She then comes back to me and says, "I sent the fingerprint to the Lab, results came back inconclusive." Cue long sigh.
Edit: Damn...
Edit 2: The Lab
So I can respond “if I was Eddie Vedder, I’d be you”
Cain didn’t kill his brother Abel until after he had killed their other two brothers, Edward and William Nigel. To be fair, they practically volunteered to be killed; after all, they were Eddy, Will N., and Abel.
But after that, it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder.
If the lead singer of Van Halen got a DUI, he'd be Eddie Cab Hailin'.
Great pun my dad posted to his facebook last night while we were at the pearl jam in Tampa... I didn't even notice until I got home:
"Doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this"
We were listening to Pearl Jam's "Alive" in the car this evening. She pipes up out of nowhere:
"Q: What does Eddie Vedder wear to bed?"
"A: Pearl Jammies"
She's 12. I'm proud.
He isn't Eddie vedder though
I came home from work the other night and as I walk in Better Man by Pearl Jam is on the stereo, and my wife is setting out a nice juicy steak for me.
I looked her right in the eye's and told her truthfully that "It doesn't get Eddie Veder than this"
She punched my shoulder...
Boologna (from Ed,Edd, and Eddy)
Eddy.
Was watching Disney's Mulan last night with some friends. It was toward the beginning of the movie, right when Mushu (the dragon voiced by Eddie Murphy) is introduced. At this point, I cleverly quipped, "Looks like Mulan is about to get her drag on."
Groans aplenty.
Every Christmas Eve we all watch Christmas Vacation, basically our tradition. For those of you that don't know the movie, the one cousin, Eddy, has a rottweiler with a sinus condition so he has mucus all over. When they bring out the dog my dad says to my little brother, "Do you know what kind of dog that is? It's a snotweiler!" He laughed for a good 10 minutes.
