If dunkin donuts was a bar,

It would be called drunkn donuts

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👤︎ u/vuyfogifux
📅︎ Nov 28 2019
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Went to Dunkin this morning.

Went to Dunkin this morning. Older guy at the counter. Ordered Coffee. Asked for sugar on the side. He asks "Which Side?".

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👤︎ u/solpark87
📅︎ Nov 30 2013
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Dad had a comment about the Dunkin Donuts fire near me.

Dad was telling my mom about the DD building burning down when:

Mom: oh gosh is everyone ok?

Dad: yeah, and apparently there's a sale on the dark roast!

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👤︎ u/iabmob
📅︎ Dec 21 2013
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Grandpa jokes are different than Dad jokes, but I think we're all familiar.

I was walking into the Dunkin Donuts this morning for some coffee and passed an older man as he was leaving.

"Sorry, they're all out of donuts!" he told me.

But like, they weren't out of donuts.

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📅︎ May 27 2016
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My dad asked me if I wanted a Hertz donut...

Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what's up and, as a teen, I say "nuthin" and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking at me with a stupid grin on his face that's he's trying to suppress poorly. Finally, he asks me to pause the game. I turn to him and he asks "You want a Hertz donut?" I obviously know this joke, but to make it worse, he's already making a fist, ready at his side. I roll my eyes and say "No, I do not want a Hertz donut." He just relaxes his hand and says surprised "Oh, you don't? You sure?" I say I'm sure and he says okay and walks back out to his car, leaving me to return to my GoldenEye. A few seconds later, he comes strolling back in the room, with a box of a dozen donuts in his hand, while he's eating one, with the same stupid grin on his face. On the box of donuts, "Dunkin" has been crudely crossed out and Hertz written beneath it in Sharpie marker. He walks into the kitchen saying "Guess you won't be having these Hertz donuts!" I'm in awe. I follow him into the kitchen and he finally relents and lets me take a donut. I ask him "So, you bought these donuts, and just put this joke together on the way home?" He says he thought of the joke earlier in the day at work and had to buy the donuts for the bit. I start laughing hysterically thinking about him sitting at work itching to leave to pull this off. As we sit there, quietly eating these donuts, he breaks the silence with a mouth full of donut, with "Had to stop at CVS to pick up a Sharpie too." I almost choked on the donut jimmies.

TLDR: Dad offered a Hertz donut, should've taken him up on it.

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📅︎ Sep 24 2014
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Where does Paul Atreides go for donuts?

Dunkin ... I Dunno.

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📅︎ May 07 2017
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Said to my husband just now.

He spilled my brand new bag of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. I told him it was grounds for divorce.

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👤︎ u/mamadyne
📅︎ Oct 18 2013
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I was listening to the ball game on the radio with my dad

Radio - "Coming to you from the Dunkin' Donuts Center..."

Dad - "Dunkin' Donuts center? That doesn't make any sense, it has to be the Dunkin' Donuts hole!"

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👤︎ u/ItsD3adly
📅︎ Mar 19 2016
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Didn't know this was a thing that people actually do

Dunkin donuts lady in the airport yelled out a number for a customer and he belted out "bingo!!!" I walked a couple steps and did a double take to be sure of what I heard when she called his number again, another "BINGO!!!" I groaned as I passed

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📅︎ Apr 01 2014
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Mom joke

My wife and I get some Dunkin Donuts coffee on our way to a hardware store. We get there, I park the car, and continue talking about something instead of getting out. She says:

"Let's go! America runs on Dunkin, but I don't see you running."

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👤︎ u/ipartola
📅︎ Apr 15 2015
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