“You cheap bum!” she yells. “This isn’t even real.”
“I know,” he says. “But in honour of Saint Patrick, I thought I’d buy you a sham-rock.
You stop at each one.
In fact, it's Dublin
It just keeps Dublin and Dublin and Dublin.
Because it said my password had to contain 8 characters and at least one capital.
The ring was just a sham rock.
They were all Dublin over with laughter.
You win some, Jerusalem.
Luckily, he was soon able to flag down a passing Kerryman driving an empty truck. “Listen mate,” he says, “I’ve got to take these monkeys to the zoo pronto, but I’m stuck here until the AA arrive, any chance you could do me a favour? Here’s £50 for your trouble.”
“No problem,” says the Kerryman, “just load them up and I’ll be away.”
Well, a while later the Dub is just about to drive away, when he spots the same Kerryman driving in the opposite direction still with the monkeys in his truck.
More confused than angry the Dublin fella high tails it and eventually flags the Kerryman down.
“Hey mate, I thought I gave you £50 to take these monkeys to the zoo!” He said
“Sure you did,” said the Kerryman, “But I had a little left over, so now we’re going to the cinema.”
It’s Dublin everyday!
Ireland. Everyday it’s Dublin.
He’s Dublin over in laughter and craic-ing up
Because it's always Dublin in size!
Ireland. Every year its Dublin.
Yeah each year it keeps Dublin.
Ireland. 🇮🇪 Every day it's Dublin!
That was a trip down memory lane.
that's why it's always Dublin
Because their capital is always Dublin!
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡An Irish Setter…
Brazilian air
They are known as the Fighting Virish
They love Dublin
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN OTTAWA!
Because its capital is always Dublin'
Because he was told his password had to contain 8 characters and at least one Capital
...in fact it's Dublin
Ireland. Because every single day it’s Dublin.
Ireland. Everyday it’s Dublin
In fact it's Dublin.
Because it keeps Dublin and Dublin and Dublin…
Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
Dublin, because it keeps Dublin and Dublin.
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.
Ireland. Everyday it's Dublin.
Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin
Ireland. Their people keep Dublin.
