What did the man say when the police pulled him over for dangerous driving and said "You're Drunk!"?

Thanks God for that I thought the steering had gone...

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
šŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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You know why there's no Fathers Against Drunk Driving?

It would just be a fadd.

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šŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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My sister was caught drunk driving amd she fell for the police officer

She said "He took my breath away"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Mr_Cuddlebear
šŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said ā€œ sir Iā€™m going to have to put you under arrest.ā€ The guy then said

Bud-wei-ser?

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/exier--
šŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?

A taxi

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šŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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A lion would never drive drunk...

But a Tiger Wood

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ASL1014
šŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.

It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Jan_Tik
šŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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A guy walks into a bar

he later leaves the bar, because he realizes that his alcohol dependence is driving a wedge between him and his family. After a while he returns to the bar, because he was so drunk that he forgot his wallet their. He then drives home, crashes into his own front lawn, knocks on the door, to find his wife standing their with a bread roller in hand. She asks him, "are you drunk you swine?!" he replies, "no ma'am, I just forgot my wallet at the bar, so I had to swing back and get it....because I was their getting drunk, I'm sorry for lying to you officer..." his wife then leaves him and goes to the same bar to get drunk.... his entire family consists of alcoholics...

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/nirvanaspirit666
šŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Not exactly a "dad" joke, but here goes

A kid and his dad are driving down the highway. The kid asks,"what does it mean to drive drunk?"

Then the dad says,"Well, you see those 4 cars? If I was driving drunk, then I'd see eight."

"But there's only two!"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/defintelynotyou
šŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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How I learned my business law professor is a dad on the last day of class

In my business law class we were discussing this court case. In the case, a woman named Courtney was hitting off the tee box at a country club and sliced the shot off the course. The ball hit a guy who was working on a nearby roof, and gave him permanent brain damage. Our professor then asked us who we thought was responsible for the damages: the golf course, the course designer, or the woman. A student in the back asks "Well what if Courtney was drunk while she was playing" to which our professor responded

"Well then we would just have a classic case of drinking... and driving."

I'm still not sure which was louder, my friend and I bursting out laughing or the collective groan that filled the room.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/bip213
šŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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My dad when he's drunk.

After a barbeque we're in the car, my dad, my mother and I. My dad is very drunk and annoying my mother, who's driving. My mother: Martin, shut up, you're getting on my tits now. Dad: Maybe I wanna get on your tits.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/baggaz
šŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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Dad dropped this at dinner

Q:"How do you like my drunk pork recipe?" Dad:"It's great, but I wouldn't drive home with it"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/tobin32
šŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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