Dookie Puns

We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.

I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.

This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.

When people ask why i will say i get inspired by what my mom calls me

...it was just a spooky dookie!

PSA: This joke is rated for children 5 years and younger.

Count Dooky

This morning I felt like straight-up dookie. I wake up, still half sleep, and roll over. I groan and just say to this dude "make me bacon". He replied "You are now bacon, congratulations."

I think I am pregnant.

I would be listening to Dookie by Green Day

"Hey son, what are you listening to? BLUE SKY?!"