The marsh heron was angry that the other birds dissed him...

He was a bittern.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Aaah yess sire,
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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What do you call a person who disses abusive words

Dis-cuss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...

I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Diss a Gree? I disagree
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nedegame
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?

Socially dissed ant

Courtesy of my dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sports_are_pain
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Dissing white rappers just for being white is a logical fallacy...

ad homineminem

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...

He was Diss-Bard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Dissappear
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoonBear696
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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What vampire raps about his enemies?

Diss Trackula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Cheating is not affair game

I said to my cheating wife "Let's settle this in affair explanation!" She said "OK. I cheated on you because your heart were as cold as the North Poll!" I looked at her then said "I'm diss a pointed..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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A video game addict was playing a military game

He quickly achieved the rank of β€œtreem ”, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamer’s family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.

This weeks top headline read, β€œex-treem dissed appointment”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamayurt
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.

I practice social diss dancing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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For my next trick,I will disappear.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Why did the magician insult the dock?

He wanted to diss a pier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Disappear
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnArousedCatfish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.

I was in diss-gust.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Who needs to hear this?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freethemaliens
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Bad collection of puns

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

  1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
  2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
  3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
  4. lettuce taco bout it?
  5. I will asalt you with puns!
  6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
  7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
  8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
  9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
  10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
  11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
  12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
  13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
  14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I just made fun of a guy in a wheelchair

It is my diss-ability

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayolin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Who am I to disagree?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweet___christmas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Safest username for online rapper society is β€œconnect” ”

Cause no one wants to β€œdiss-connect”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Totika123
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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What do you call a prearranged rap battle?

A diss appointment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?

He was dissed by the prose at a rave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Waiting for my day to begin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TazMan65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2017
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I had a newly created job as Corporate Critic...

where I could criticize and demean other employees. But the job was eliminated and I was let go when my co-workers complained about my DISS-POSITION.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I don’t see any animosity between mainstream rappers anymore

They must be diss-track-ted

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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My friend claims he's great at insulting people in his head.

I think he's mentally diss-abled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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My friend insults me from A-Z

They have a diss-order

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Two rivaling rappers, named Jim and Tom planned to meet up for a rap battle. Jim totally destroyed his rival.

Tom's fans didn't expect this kind of diss appointment.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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I talk so much shit I can’t hold a job.

I’ve got mad diss-abilities yo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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I was in a rap battle and during my opponent's turn he was sat on the floor shaking.

I think it was a nervous diss position.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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A friend challenged me to a rap battle

We agreed to meet the next day at the park, but he couldn't make it, i guess it was a diss appointment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlownMC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
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European Pun!

I have Moldova European puns and there is Norway Ukraine diss them, Andorra idiot if you try.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/painya
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Congratulations to my friend on his first child! Now, to the joke about the crippled guy who talks alot of shit.....

Well he didn't know what was wrong with him, but this dude obviously had a diss-ability.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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