Punstoppable
A list of puns related to "Dinged"
It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home
"Good idea!" I replied. "We can cover more ground that way!"
Me: Fine. Have it your way.
Address
Edit: Wow! I never thought my first award would be for a dad joke. Thanks anonymous redditor.
I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.
A ding bat.
"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"
All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.
He conditioned it
right where it hertz.
Bill Ding
No? Oh, must be you acting like a ding-dong.
Eventually we drifted apart.
who's there?
The electrician to fix your doorbell
I told him it rang a bell.
Oh, whoops, that was just you being a ding dong.
....because freedom rings.
Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!
Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!
I got ding-dong ditched
Because it was ah... low-ding.
I’m very flattered, but make sure you wish your own dad a happy Father’s Day too.
She commented, "that's an odd amount." I told her for being a math honors student, I would think she'd recognize that 46 is an even number.
She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale.
A bell tower!
They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.
I prefer to think of them as full groan
In the en...ding
This morning, a local radio station had trivia going on, in which the first correct caller would win a free dozen donuts at a local store.
Radio DJ: 20% of Americans have one of these in their home, and despite not working, have no plans of fixing them. First caller, you're up!
Dad: (without hesitation) Hello, I have the answer, I'm ready for the donuts!
Radio DJ: (laughs) What is the answer?
Dad: Teenagers!
Radio DJ: Next caller, you're up!
The first one's twenty, the second is twenty too.
http://i.imgur.com/qsFCaW7.png
Anna One, Anna Two...
When it is fully groan.
When it turns into a driveway.
The name should ring a bell.
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
Was at my friends cabin helping him ready the boat to go out on the lake. Friend: "Looks like we're in good shape" Me: "Yeah, ship shape"
He was not amused.
“Hi hungry I’m dad”
I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!
William (Bill) Ding
James (Jim) Nastics
Bart Ender
Ted Manwalkin
Gustavo (Gus) Undheit
As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!
There is this ding to tell me my keys are in the ignition still. I shut the door and the ding stops. But I turn on the car and it starts dinging again for my seatbelt notice.
Man, if it's not one ding it's another.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
a po' tato
So this happened a couple of years ago. I worked in a room of about 40 engineers. Someone on a different team always had his phone on loud, and his ringtone set as the Friends theme (which soon became pretty annoying)
Anyway, one afternoon, the offender had gone for a cigarette but left his phone behind. Phone rings, and no-one dares answer his phone for him, so we all ignore it and eventually they ring off.
Moments later, same thing happens, I think it gets through the intro and into the first verse before they ring off.
Silence. We breathe a sigh of relief. They've given up.
...
*Ding digading ding dinga din...
Someone in the office yells "HE IS ON A BREAK"
Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs
I'm microwaving up some leftover soup.
Microwave dings, finally done. I pull the soup out of the microwave, and triumphantly exclaim, "Soup!"
My girlfriend quips, "There it is!"
In Australia Fathers Day is on the 1st of September. It was a really nice day for Fathers Day where I live, the weather was perfect so this afternoon we were sitting outside in the sun in our backyard which faces a river. A boat went past and we could hear a big dinging noise going on and on, like something metal tied to a cord was flapping around in the wind and banging something else metal.
Dad pipes up, "God, if I was that guy in the boat and had to listen to that every time I took it out I'd go crazy! I'd probably even keel over!"
Happy Fathers day Dad :)
Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Have my phone out during the commercials before the commercials leading up to a movie and they show the "please silence you cell phones" message.
Just then I get a text and my phone dings.
"Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. "
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