Punstoppable

Dinges Puns

A list of puns related to "Dinges"

A logger took his son to work the other day. The father went to look for a tree and the son stayed behind to practice his swing. The boy tripped and dinged the truck. His farther came back and saw the ding. He said "son, can you tell me what I'm looking at?". The son said,

Just a little axe dent.

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👤︎ u/3rrr6
📅︎ Sep 18 2022
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Just happened, proud of myself: just had a quick office zoom meeting with a lot of people. As each person popped on zoom made that “DING DONG” sound. One of my bosses said “anyone that can figure out how to make Zoom stop doing that is gonna get a prize.”

I said “are you gonna give them the No-Bell prize?”

I HAVE WON THE DAY

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👤︎ u/jewyouevenlift
📅︎ Oct 26 2021
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Meowsie
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👤︎ u/bumbumofdoomdoom
📅︎ Jan 04 2023
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Have you heard that joke that goes "ding dong" in the punchline?

No? I knew it wouldn't ring a bell.

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👤︎ u/drawsouza
📅︎ Apr 29 2022
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How come Pavlov always had such lush, luxurious hair?

He conditioned it.

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👤︎ u/GoonerBear94
📅︎ Jan 06 2023
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

P-p-p-poke her face.

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👤︎ u/kindest_asshole
📅︎ Jan 04 2023
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This cold weather reminds me of the 90's

I really loved frosted tips.

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👤︎ u/varis_2003
📅︎ Dec 03 2022
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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

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👤︎ u/Burnin8
📅︎ Nov 09 2022
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A classmate visits
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👤︎ u/fyahspreadit
📅︎ Sep 19 2022
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What happened when Dr. Frankenstein installed the town square bell into his terrible creation?

It gave him a monster dong.

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👤︎ u/ilikesidehugs
📅︎ Aug 16 2022
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Barack Obama at our local church making continual ‘Ding Dong’ noises.

I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize

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👤︎ u/jnolife
📅︎ Mar 05 2021
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Knock knock

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

... nevermind, it's pointless

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👤︎ u/ClubAppropriate2129
📅︎ Aug 11 2022
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Ding heres a light joke to brighten up the world(three jokes in one) (;
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👤︎ u/TheHotSouthWinds
📅︎ Sep 16 2020
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This rings a bell…
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👤︎ u/AdamWestsButtDouble
📅︎ Oct 28 2021
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C'mon people, it's 2022. No more knock knock jokes!

We have doorbells nowadays

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👤︎ u/VSPRemag
📅︎ Apr 28 2022
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I really like the name Belle

It has a nice ring to it

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👤︎ u/onesleepyghost
📅︎ Oct 04 2022
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If there’s a king sized mattress and a queen sized mattress, where does the prince sleep?

The heir mattress

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👤︎ u/matt79361
📅︎ Jun 05 2022
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My dad always wanted to be a professional boxer but he sells hoovers instead

He calls himself Dyson Fury

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👤︎ u/PotentialAnything213
📅︎ Mar 31 2022
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what do you call a bell with a dent in it?

A dinged dong

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👤︎ u/Mr_Grim_One
📅︎ Oct 05 2022
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When redbull also gives you dings
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👤︎ u/0-Ben-Dover-0
📅︎ Aug 30 2019
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Dong. Ding Dong.

James Bond's doorbell.

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👤︎ u/smarterthanawaffle
📅︎ Feb 05 2020
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PSA: if you receive an email with the subject ding dong. Whatever you do, don’t open it.

It’s the Jehovah’s witnesses working from home

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👤︎ u/YellowSnow2807
📅︎ May 12 2020
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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👤︎ u/CzarcasmRules
📅︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did the doorbell repeat 8th grade

It was a ding dong

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👤︎ u/jmoney6
📅︎ Nov 07 2022
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The person who invented knock knock jokes has been rewarded for his achievement.

He was given a no bell prize.

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👤︎ u/StephenGTS125
📅︎ Jun 27 2022
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What do you call a 90-year-old Roman?

XC-dingly old.

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👤︎ u/wimpykidfan37
📅︎ Sep 26 2022
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I’m in serious trouble if the recession causes shortages that require us to hunt for food.

I don’t even know where Little Debbie lives.

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👤︎ u/gary6043
📅︎ Jul 30 2022
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Someone kept ringing my doorbell but all I found were slips of papers with spells on them…

They were ding dong witching me.

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👤︎ u/rszim94
📅︎ Oct 14 2022
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My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.

So i bought her a candle.

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👤︎ u/TheTwitchDJ
📅︎ Dec 12 2021
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I went on a Canadian trivia show and they asked about all the provinces.

I knew Nunavut.

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👤︎ u/Frank-Dr3bin
📅︎ May 04 2022
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Did you hear the news about the inventor of the knock-knock joke?

He won the Nobel Prize.

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👤︎ u/A_C0mm0ner
📅︎ Sep 18 2021
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I came out as bikesexual today

My parents were really confused so I had to back pedal to explain

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👤︎ u/thebooksmith
📅︎ Feb 01 2022
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Took me a minute I can’t lie
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👤︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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Carpentry Joke

Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers asked why they were being so generous, the head monk simply replied "Isn't it obvious? We're reposting for karma."

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👤︎ u/Beowulf1896
📅︎ Aug 31 2022
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He was talking about the ding-a-ling song (dads will get the reference)
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👤︎ u/someone5793
📅︎ Oct 08 2013
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When I say, "Ding dong." You say, "Aww."

"...why?" My girlfriend asked. "Because it's a-door-able!"

All I heard was groans as she walked out and closed the door.

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👤︎ u/ThePreissisRight
📅︎ Dec 20 2016
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My 7-year-old came up with this and decided to share it with me: What do you call a penguin’s smile?

A penGRIN

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👤︎ u/Similar_Radish8623
📅︎ Apr 22 2022
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Thought this one up during a dream: What sound does an Australian doorbell make?

Ding-O

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👤︎ u/I5i1dur
📅︎ Aug 13 2022
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When's a door not a door?

When its ajar

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👤︎ u/elliot809
📅︎ Jul 16 2021
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How did Pavlov get his hair so soft?

Conditioning.

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👤︎ u/kuddle_muddle
📅︎ Aug 11 2021
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You know what's the wurst?

This sausage joke.

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👤︎ u/PracticalConjecture
📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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Ding dong...

*Crickets*

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👤︎ u/Boom223
📅︎ Jan 30 2020
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