Mutually Assured Destruction?

That would be MAD!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHarcker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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My fart just wiped out half of new York.

It was a weapon of ass destruction

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Weapon of brass destruction
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robert_brownie-jr
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What do you call a cow stepping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

My Dad a actually told me this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wildjosh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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Cow jokes that are great for making your kids' eyes roll :

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef!

What do you call a cow after it gives birth? De-calf-enated!

Did you hear about that cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.

(After they beg you to stop, hit them with: "Ok, it's time too mooooove on to some different jokes. These cow jokes are getting udderly ridiculous.")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?

They docked his pay.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I was peacefully eating my Chinese soup, until a guy came out of nowhere and flipped the bowl, spilling my soup everywhere and ruining my meal.

This was an act of wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePainTra1n96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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This joke is gonna bomb

Where can you find weapons of mass destruction in Walmart?

In aisle 8

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πŸ‘€︎ u/myska707
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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What do you call a destructive wizard?

Da mage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrZxAlan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What do you call a medical fish?

Sturgeon general

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToxicSamurai
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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A man was recently charged with vandalizing a chinese restaurant

Police say it was a case of wonton destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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I told my dad about how hurricanes with female names cause more destruction...

"Well, now I know why they don't call them himmicanes"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarrowFlinn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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I had to reprimand my son for cutting up his dumplings at the Chinese restaurant last night.

I can't condone such wonton acts of destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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I think we should stop blaming earthquakes for the destruction they cause

It's not their fault

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceXDragon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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What do you call a space nuke?

Weapon of Mars destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Klaus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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What does Harry Truman call cats?

Weapons of mouse destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catamine_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Thank you

This isn't a dad joke. This is a thank you to everyone on this subreddit. 6 weeks ago the love of my life broke things off with me due to factors attributed to my mental health (which i didn't tell her about because she is struggling with uni and i didn't want her to worry) and I've been having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with it. She's falling for another guy while I've been self destructing to the point where she never wants to talk to me again. But i found this subreddit today, the jokes are so stupid and funny that for the first time since before the breakup, I've laughed and it was genuine. Thank you so much for your stupid jokes. You've saved my life as far as I'm concerned. I still have a long way to to, but this subreddit is definitely going to get me through it. Thank you πŸ’–

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcixjames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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An antimatter-based weapon would literally be a weapon of mass-destruction reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shubhamk123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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I found myself bereft at the chaos that run through the winding streets of China town. The horror

The wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyW-Unofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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Did you hear about Chinese restaurant that blew up?

Scenes of wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEZTURNER
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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When a parrot causes complete and total Destruction

It's a macawpalypse!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
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What do you call it when the crew of the starship enterprise enters a massive, destructive weather pattern?

An Uhuracane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zibani
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Breaking News: Light convicted destructive interference.

Sentenced to life in prism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryzikx
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2017
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I have a really dark joke about light waves changing speeds and direction!

[refracted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Huxm_luxl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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A guy just went crazy at my local dumpling house and destroyed the place.

He's been charged with wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?

It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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What do you get when a cow jumps over an electrified barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What happened when two herds of evenly-matched cows got into a turf war?

There was mootual destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBonez12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do you call it when a cow fails to jump over a barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction

Probably a re-post, but I haven't seen it on here in quite a while

If you have seen it recently... I'm utterly sorry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Today, at lunch, my wife almost threw out her leftover wonton soup.

I immediately stopped her and asked for a to go container. I won’t stand by and allow acts of wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oriehd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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So a sensei or β€˜teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.

He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Dad joke 101

My dad told my brother to change his bedsheets while his gf is coming..

"I don't want her to get pregnant just by sitting" he said

I'm dyin lmaoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Destruction 100

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swaggersouls_2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasha678910
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence

Utter destruction

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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A Chinese restaurant was recently destroyed in the riots.

It was wonton destruction.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when the cow jumped over the barb wired fence?

Udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gmgood89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spookletonslogs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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What do you call a cow that jumped over a barbed fence?

Utter destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koivoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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