There was an inventor in the late 1800s who despised bells, he designed a device that would eliminate every bell in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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The only type of art that people despised

Fart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?

Seizure salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marimochan96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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What was the beverage Hitler despised the most?

Juice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Streaplerz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2013
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Name for an etsy store

My friends name is Paige. She asked me to help with names for her etsy store to sell paintings, crochet stuff, alcohol ink things, and pottery. Paige despises puns. Please help me with some good pun names for her shop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slackgir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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What mathematical operation do the French despise?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/octalgon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My wife despises a certain condiment

I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

We had some drinks, cool guy, he wants to be a web developer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Germans must really hate female nouns

They always precede them with "die"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PierogisDevourer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Vegan's with foot-fetishes might prefer toe-fu.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClickedRandomly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I should have known better than to buy cheap paper

It's tearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoquiero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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You know what I hate?

How Formula 1 aficionados despise anyone who mispronounce the name for the series of races that they have. They are such Prix about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fart2125
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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