My aunt is having twins. Dad thinks she should name the girl Denise.

And the boy Denephew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/titsucker99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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Every time my friend Denise stops by

Dad: Hi, Da niece. How is your brother, Da nephew?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Flying_Toe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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What is Russia’s favourite song?

Putin on the ritz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanKeat0n
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.

She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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While giving birth to a set of twins, the mother losses consciousness.

The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.

When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious. She said β€œOh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?” The doctors replied β€œWell, the girl’s name is Denise!” β€œOh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?” β€œDenephew”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeepenTeepen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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A woman pregnant with twins falls into a coma..

After 3 months she wakes up to hear she gave birth to a girl and a boy, and her brother named them. She asks for the girls name and is told Denise. Oh that's beautiful she replies, what is the boys name? Da nephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostsHighThoughts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
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My wife got hot by my dad joke

She's got the girls coming round to night. I asked who is coming. "Oh, Rebecca, Stacie and Denice". I reply "if Denise is here where is De Nephew?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dazz316
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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My dad got my cousins today

He looked at my girl cousin and said

"You know, if your mom let me name you, you would be called Denise ... And I would have called your brother Denephew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedstoneRomel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2016
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Woman's brother gets to name her twin kids

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins. Labour was imminent, so she was taken to the hospital to give birth. Her husband was stuck at the office, so her brother, who is a little bit kooky and not the sharpest knife in the drawer, went along with her.

Everything goes well in the delivery room, and she becomes the mother to two healthy children, a girl and a boy. The pregnancy took a lot out of her and she promptly passed out from exhaustion shortly after the birth.

A little while later, the father shows up, all excited to hear about his new kids. The wife's brother is in the waiting room when he arrives.

Husband: "How'd it go?"

Wife's brother: "It went great! Your wife gave birth to a healthy girl and a healthy boy!"

Husband: "That's amazing! Thanks so much for coming down with her."

Wife's brother: "No problem. She passed out after giving birth, so when the doctor came to get their names recorded, I handled it all."

Husband: gulps "Oh really?"

Wife's brother: "Yup. I named your daughter Denise."

Husband: "Denise. Well, that's not so bad now, is it? And my boy? What's my boy's name?"

Wife's brother: "Well, naturally he's Denephew."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2015
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Dumb uncle

A lady is 9 months pregnant and is in a car accident. Turns out she was pregnant with twins and they had to an emergency C-section. She wakes up the next day and asks about her babies. Nurse tells her that her brother showed up and he named them. Fear stricken because her brother is an idiot she asks the nurse to bring in the first one, a girl, nurse tells her that she was named Denise. She thinks to herself well that's not bad. What is the boys name? Danephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActionJaxon325
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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Dad said this to my mom today..

Her: "Honey remind me to call Denise later."

Him: "What about Denephew?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godspeed312
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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My uncle introducing my cousin and her husband... every time

"This is Denise... and this is de nephew."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muffintumble
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2014
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The mail lady accidentally put someone else's mail in our box...

Me: Hey dad, who's Denise?

Dad: Oh I don't know a Denise but I know her brother Da-nephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merryklumklum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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Got a customer today with this one

A customer came to place an order, said her name was Denise

I responded, "do you have a brother named DeNephew"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetableRapist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2016
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Greatest hits: phone calls

"I can't find my phone--can you call it for me?"

Dad: "Phone! Phone! Where are you?"

"So I called Denise this afternoon."

Dad: "What'd you call her?"

"Alright, love you too."

Dad: "The band?"

Let's hear some more in the comments.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she let me name them! The girl's name is Denise.

The boy's name is Denephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungMuppet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you. Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/6Bazrael66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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A 3 months pregnant woman fell in a coma

After 6 months, she woke up and asked the doctor about her kids, the doctor said "you had twins and they're both fine". She then asked who names them. The doctor said her brother then the woman started going "No, no, no, no, no, no." The doctor asked what's wrong. The woman said "my brother's an idiot! What'd he name them?" The doctor said "he named the girl Denise. The woman said "oh, that's not bad, what'd he name the boy?" The doctor said "Denephew."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmadh26
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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A woman pregnant with twins was in the hospital with her brother as she went into labour.

She gave birth to a boy and a girl but the delivery was very intense and she went into coma for a few days. When she woke up the doctor told her about the twins and that as she was in coma for long, her brother named the kids. She said,"Oh God! Not my brother, he is a stupid idiot."

The doctor told her that he named the girl Denise and her mother said,"well that's not too bad, what about my son?"

The doctor replied the boy is named DeNephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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My brother gave me the opportunity to name his twins.

The girl came out I named her Denise The boy came out I named him Denephew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe2u2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Uncle Jokes

A woman who is three months pregnant falls into a deep coma.Six months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.

Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Mother: Oh, thats not so bad, what did he call the boy?

Doctor: Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HekticLobster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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A single woman who was 3 months pregnant fell into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awoke and asked the doctor about her baby...

Doctor: "You had twins! A boy and a girl and they are both fine. We let the brother name them both for you"

Mother: "Oh shit, he's an idiot! What did he name my baby girl?"

Doctor: "Denise."

Mother: "Oh.. That's not too bad. What is my sons name?"

Doctor: "Denephew"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luxbu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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Woman gives birth and goes into a coma

The woman wakes up from her coma and the nurse explains that she has been in a coma after she gave birth to twins, one boy and one girl. The nurse says that because the woman was not able to name her children, her brother named them for her.

Woman: Oh great, what did my brother name the girl?

Nurse: He named her Denise.

Woman: That's not so bad, what about my son?

Nurse: Denephew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtianbreezy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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My dad hit me with this one today...

A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later she wakes up and asks about her baby. The doctor informs her that they were born healthy, twins, a boy and a girl. He informs her that the uncle of the children named them, and the mother is distraught. Knowing what an idiot he is, she asks what he named the daughter. The doctor said Denise. She thinks "Well, not so bad," and asks what he named the son... the doctor replies denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptSkaboom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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