My friend told me I was delusional

I nearly fell off my unicorn

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/x_amxxn_x
šŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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(From my mother in our 1:30 delusional state) Why are we all wearing glasses?

It's 2020

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/cab0053
šŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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If you have delusional visions of grandeur that involve Asian noodles...

...does that make you a megalomeiniac?

šŸ‘︎ 48
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Jeepcomplex
šŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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Did you hear what happened at Chernobyl?

Iā€™m not sure, but I think they were overreacting

šŸ‘︎ 51
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ragethissecons
šŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Rav4xle
šŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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If you think riding a sled down an ice track is easy

You are delusional.

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/2076baseballbat
šŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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The other day my friend told me I was delusional...

I nearly fell off my unicorn!

šŸ‘︎ 6
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ElderHallow
šŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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