What does Delta Airlines call online checkin?

Flight Attendance

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kappattacka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I went on Shamchat as "MC Delta T". Chemistry puns ensued. shamchat.com/1675c6/
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/corvus_corvidae
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
🚨︎ report
The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes.

And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.

He said he was in the desert with his camels.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Constant-Mud-7995
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked a girl on Tinder

We'd been talking for a few days, already had a plan to meet up at by this point.

Me: Hey! How's your day going?

Her: Good, thanks! Just went to Petsmart and bought medicine for my betta fish, walking home now. His fins are falling off, the poor guy.

Me: Aw, I hope he gets betta.

Her: Oh god

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quiddity99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
🚨︎ report
If there was a big enough difference in the size of my shoulders, you know what that would be?

A delta.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brookesies3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Totally got my fellow law student

Our law fraternity, Phi Alpha Delta is hosting a luncheon with a panel of lawyers today. A friend and I in the frat were talking about what's on the menu, which neither of us knew. Finally, I just said "maybe they'll serve PAD Thai."

Her grimace and groan will fuel my afternoon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonaTheCat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
🚨︎ report
At my office we have TVs that play the news all day

Walking past one of them I saw a headline that read: Delta employee charged with smuggling loaded guns onto passenger planes." I pointed it out to a co-worker and said "Oh man, I hope he doesn't get bail. He's obviously a flight risk."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TeaShirt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Nerd-Dad Volley

I recently subscribed to this sub and it's my new favorite. I shamelessly stole the "tan line" joke for Facebook and a nerd volley with another dad ensued quickly.

Me: Wow, this warmer weather is getting me ready for spring. Hey, I'm already getting ready for summer, check out my tan line! <graph of tangent>

Him: It's certainly not a farmer's tan line...not straight enough.

Me: No farmer's life for me. It's not something I'd sine up for.

Him: ...and I wouldn't cosine your startup loan. (groan)

Me: Sheesh, there's no reason to be hyperbolic.

Him: I really must learn how to integrate all your math vocabulary into my daily life.

Me: You'd really have to think of some way to differentiate yours from mine.

Him: heh...maybe after I move to the delta and crawl under a natural log. I'm sorry, it just struck me that I'm acting the total asymptote.

Me: Ugh. The average of the posts in this thread is degenerating.

Him: We've traversed a slippery slope and while I don't mean to be mean we've gone way past the apex of this thread.

My wife: Nerds.

Me: You married me.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RFtinkerer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.