What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
Mantra of the Kansas City Chiefs' defensive line
The Bucs Stop Here!
Edit: thank you for alerting me it's "bucs" not "bucks". My dad experience (4 months) is better than my football knowledge
In my defense, I have none
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....
You should play defense, no offense.
I thought the defense would like my joke about the quarterback
I guess it was too offensive
My sister is a really good defensive driver
Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions
My wife says I’m getting fat, but in my defense....
I’ve had a lot on my plate recently
Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?
They were just following the chicken!
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
The corona virus just learned self defense.
They were taught Kung Flu.
Rudy Gobert should win the NBA Defensive player of the year award...
He shut the whole league down this year!
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
Why do snails take self defense classes.
So they don't get assaulted.
What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
“In my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl play”
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Why did they add 2 more layers of defense to Fort 43?
People keep telling me to stop putting up walls
If someone writes a biography about American Defense Secretary Jim Mattis they should call it...
I’ve just completed a self defense course…
I wouldn’t recommend anyone attack me in slow motion now…
One time my cat chased down a drone and brought it to me. The drone's owner accused me of theft. In my defense, I said it wasn't stolen...
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?
If someone has already submitted a joke about defensive swordsmanship...
...sorry for the riposte.
What was the photographer's defense in court?
What do you call a painter who practices self defense?
You tell a player that he is not good at defense.
Dad-jokes for self-defense (crossposted from /r/funny)
https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg
As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.
What did the lawyer say in the mesothelioma case say in defense of his client?
He was just doing asbestos he could!
The Jewish nation that replaced palestine is defensive about its existance.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
What does a Jewish baker use for self defense?
Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense
I hear Denver's Defensive Coordinator is dyne to change his name...
to Pascal. He hopes to contain Cam Newton to a one meter square area.
I angered the Scottish guy by making fun of his skirt...
He nearly kilt me. I poked him in the aye in defense.
Did you hear about that new self defense bread?
What is the new Canadian Defense Minister's Plan of Attack?
I love building canadian defensive structures
I guess you can say it's my fort eh?
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