I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.

I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaoskrim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I came up with Instagram a decade before it came out

when I put my grandma on speed dial.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Is this sub dead?

No one's posted here all decade...

(Regards from New Zealand)

πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndydaAlpaca
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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It has been foreseen, the decade is nearly upon us
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DumelDuma
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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As a mafia hitman, my story of a successful mission I was assigned--which had me assassinate a decade of mob bosses--usually started as similarly sounding like the layman's term of the fibrous tissue along the calves and heels...

"I killed these ten Dons..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MabalsaRitchie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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You should be excited about the end of this decade

It happens only once in 10 years

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninajji1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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PUN OF THE DECADE
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tllsTEXAS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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It’s the end of the decade

See you next decade

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-wan-Nalu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.

It’s just a curd to me.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It was my longest running joke of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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What do call a comedy film that takes place in multiple decades?

A comedy of eras

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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All the beginning of a decade/end of a decade memes are getting old.

I mean, they are so last year.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Will the new decade bring fortune or disaster? No one knows yet.

Hindsight will be 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Here is my Top 10 list of favorite years from the past decade.

(In chronological order)

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drigana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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The biggest hit of the decade!

No doubt, the Juul

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NinoAmon87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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This decade was pretty stressful for me. I'd say it was rather 10's.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoBoiRudy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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β€œPost Home Alone, the introvert rapper of the next decade.”

Said in a discussion of whether the movie β€œThe Page Master” was pre or post β€œHome Alone”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePocketWench
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I lent a girl my umbrella yesterday

now the amount of girls I made wet this year is -1. :(

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amossycar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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A couple of decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now, there's no cash, no hope, and no jobs...

For the love of God, don't let Kevin Bacon pass away

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was just on the toilet having my morning movement. My wife walked up and said she was proud of me

"You're not holding on to last year's shit"

My wife beat me to the first dad joke of the year. Damnit

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trobsmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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A thief was being chased by the cops for over a decade..

Finally, he was given arrest.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government

After all, they’re still stuck in the last decade

πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Delliott90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Guys my dad really said it.

I did New Year's Eve away from home, and my parents left on 1 and 2 (and I didn't see them on 1 because I came back after they left). They have just returned home and my father said to me: "I haven't seen you since last year". And I was like "Why? Why?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreSbe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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Man it’s been a while since I last logged into reddit

It was at least last year

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebwit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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A parish priest was next in line to be made bishop. However, dues to the longevity of his superiors, it was over a decade before he was appointed.

Just another case of long time, no see.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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If Ice Cube suddenly released one of the best rap singles of this decade...

It would be a Song of Ice and Fire.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genericChampion
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2016
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Every dad on the 31st of december at 11.59PM

"See you in a decade"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Metukk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Within a decade, Pole Dancing will be an Olympic sport.

Then you'll be sorry you tossed out all of your grandparents polka music.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JazzboTN
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!

πŸ‘︎ 953
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryLONGPotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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What happened to the food that was kept open for 10 years?

It decade.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar

He says "Bartender, get me a beer."

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

The string is pissed. He goes into the alley, twists himself up, messes up his hair, and storms back inside.

"Bartender. Get me a beer."

The bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Hey, ain't you that string I sent out earlier?"

The string shakes his head. "I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnfunkyUfologist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.

After decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.

I can play guitar very badly.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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My dad sent me this with the caption "After 6 decades of searching, I've finally found it"

http://i.imgur.com/5MNBPFb.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dudeicorn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
🚨︎ report
China seems so much more advanced than America....

It's like they're a decade ahead.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What’s new on Reddit?

I haven’t logged on in a decade!

(β€’β€’) ( β€’β€’)>βŒβ– -β–  (βŒβ– _β– )

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oNostalgic-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Enough with the β€œI’ll see you next year” jokes on New Year’s!

Those jokes are a decade old now!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shuftypoowers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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People think that there is no difference between the genders now

But ovary decade ago there vas deferens

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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If lemon juice is lemonade

then cum juice is DECADE

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hmmmmmmble_trauma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Stop making awful new years jokes

Seriously, I've heard them for the entire decade so far.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyreoz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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