I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

The Tenure of King Stojan Kovačević

Length of Tenure: January 25th, 1899 - December 6th, 1906

Party: Independent (aligned with People's Party)

DOMESTIC POLICY

-Vasa Pelagić ended his time as monarch with much controversy, and people wanted a safe choice, someone who was a moderate and not really aligned with either political party much. The People's Party was a more right leaning party, supporting tradition, a tight monetary policy, free trade, high tariffs with a mixed reception on foreign issues. The Socialist Party was a left-leaning party with socialism, utopian socialism and democratic-socialism being the main ideologies representing it. Hints of a third party were seemingly coming.

-The people, tired, wanted a moderate to help shake tensions away and possibly make the country go on a better path and have a better future. And so, when election procedures started on the day Pelagić died, there were many candidates. Bogdan Zimonjić was a member of the People's Party and was the initial favorite. Vaso Vidović, a member in Pelagić's cabinet, soon rose to the ranks among the Socialist Party. Maksim Baćović, an independent, seemed to be the leading compromise candidate.

-However, a dark horse candidate named Stojan Kovačević rose up. Kovačević was a popular Herzegovinian vojvoda who was famous for his service in the Herzegovinian uprising of 1875. After that, he lived a mostly quiet life but recently felt that the country was going down the wrong path. Kovaćevič was a registered independent and was mostly moderate on most issues, which appealed to the people.

-When election day came, it was very close but Kovačević out of the four came at top. He soon formed the parliament and his cabinet.

PPB - People Party of Bosnia, SPB - Socialist Party of Bosnia, I - Independent

-Kovačević's first act as king was to fufill his campaign promise of ''making the country have a more independent identity.'' He soon authorized a new flag, a new national animal, national food, a bigger army and a stronger navy. First, he went on working on the new fl

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Are there any openings that have been conclusively proven to be trash? For example, even at my 1200 rapid rating, I see the Damiano defense just get crushed every time White sacs the knight by taking e5.

So is the Damiano a totally busted opening? Are there any others like it?

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.

But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.