Dade Puns

Mom: "Why are there all these bowls?" Me: "because they are all out of plates."

drops mic

Edit: picks up mic

"I totally meant they are"

drops mic

I just turned extremely cold again and my dad was talking about covering up some strawberries to protect them. My response.

"It's a good thing we have a bail (of straw) otherwise we'd have to use blankets. Then they would just be blanket berries..."

I found myself using my eraser and shaking the beers on the table which made a loud annoying sound. So, I picked them up, and put them on the floor, and said "you're grounded"!

I just made a dad joke while doing a dad action. I'm going to make a great dad, so watch out ladies.

Earlier today I accompanied my dad to the grocery store. Eventually, my dad made his way to the deli in the store and ordered two pounds of bologna. When he was rung up, his total was almost 3 dollars. I don't eat bologna, but I presumed that was high when my dad suddenly exclaimed, "That's a bunch of baloney!" and chuckled to himself. My conformist dad bought it anyways.

Father-in-law gets out of the shower, says to my husband,"You're up!" I reply, "Asia!" :::crickets::: I add, "Oh, I thought we were just saying names of continents." The look of jealous contempt from my FIL was priceless.

So we're in the car driving him home, and we got on the subject of valentines day. Me being attached and him single, I was really happy for him when he told me he had a date for valentines day!

I ask "So who is she?"

him: "February 14th"

worst part is it took me a while to get it, so I kept questioning him. I got out daded