4th/Shinjuku Ward — CCG 4th Ward Branch Office; 9th of May, 15:25
Today was what most investigators felt to be just another day in the office. But to Initate Hajime Miura, it was much more than that. It was a new opportunity for him to maintain order in Tokyo, another chance to protect the public from a dangerous species and a new beginning to leave the past of yesterday behind. He truly embraced such a thing, even if his visage failed to display even a single hint of it.
Miura walked through the large halls of the branch office, his oxfords clicking with each step taken towards his destination — the elevator. Whether he strutted with great confidence or pure mystery, was unknown to those who drifted past and behind him. Only he would know for certain, the truth behind it all.
In his right hand was a cream colored folder he held tightly between his thumb and fingers. Stamped in deep red across its papery surface was the word 'CONFIDENTIAL', which meant the contents inside were for his and a higher ranking investigator's eyes to see exclusively. After all, a rising threat such as this could only be discussed with a person of great authority. One that Miura was scheduled to meet with in ten minutes, coincidentally.
Associate Special Class Kotetsu. He thought, reaching the elevator and stepping in. A trio of fellow investigators who made the journey down from a higher floor greeted him before exiting themselves, to which he responded with small and curt nods of his head. In a gentle motion, he pressed one of the elevator's buttons to make it go up. And as the doors moved to close, so did his chestnut eyes.
Yes, darkness. That's what this is..
XXX
With the click of a lock, Miura opened the door to a office room K32. He walked in slowly and turned to shut the door behind him in a gentle manner. Compared to the halls or elevator, the air inside was noticeably heavier. It seemed to be crushing, even. And if not for his calm nature, Miura's very being would've been squashed.
Behind a large, metal desk sat a dark haired man with defining features, his less noticeable one being the purple tint in his hair which matched the initiate's own fringes. His face was all but serious, and the man undoubtedly had zero tolerance for foolishness or failure, that much Miura was absolutely certain of just from merely looking at him.
Approaching the desk and stopping, he made sure to keep his chin at a reasonable level as he stood before his ranking supe
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Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
[Removed]
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
