My partner was always criticising my sense of direction...

So I packed up and right

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📅︎ May 17 2021
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Before criticising someone you should always walk a mile in their shoes

That way you’ll be a mile away And you’ll have their shoes.

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👤︎ u/dandan_56
📅︎ Feb 15 2018
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What do you call animals that have a backbone and criticise everyone?

Verteberates

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📅︎ May 22 2021
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Once my friend criticised me for not being funny enough.

So I pun-ched him.

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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(UK) A B-road walks into a bar.

The B-road starts bragging extensively about his status as a B-road. The bar staff and patrons aren't impressed.

Then, an A-road struts in. The A-road immediately starts criticising the B-road, whilst also bragging about his own status. The two get into a big argument, and the patrons are starting to get riled up.

Then, a motorway barges his way into the bar, and starts boasting that he is better than the A-road and B-road combined. The argument escalates, and some customers grab their belongings, preparing to leave.

And then, a solid white line walks into the bar.

The whole bar falls silent. The argument stops dead in its tracks, and the three roads immediately disperse, avoiding eye contact with the new customer.

The solid white line goes up to the bar, orders a drink, and consumes it slowly. The bar is still silent. As soon as he is finished, the solid white line turns and leaves the bar without a word. The three roads breathe a sigh of relief.

The barman is astounded. "What the hell was that about?!" he exclaims.

"We don't mess with him" mutters the motorway.

"Why not?"

"He's a cycle path".

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📅︎ Mar 03 2020
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Don't criticize my dad's grammar

He'll say without fail: "My grammar was a really nice lady, why would you say that about her?"

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👤︎ u/rasungod0
📅︎ May 22 2014
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