Last night, I got fed up at my wife criticizing my sense of direction.
So I packed my bags and right.
Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.
We had a critical issue at work today, the icons on the monitor screen were small
It took us a while to work out a proper resolution
what do you called a website that talked about reading, and also criticized a lot.
The police called me to tell me my wife was in hospital and that she was critical !
What is she complaining about now I said
What do you call an insane critic?
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
What did book critics think of the Communist Manifesto?
They gave it high Marx because it looked at many new Engels.
The comments on the post of a video where a man who flew from Emirates (using hot air balloons) and was found in Oman in a critical condition. I doubt if that video Israel..
Has anyone seen the new film about fried eggs?
Apparently it's been panned by critics.
What way does a cyclops wing its eyeliner?
It doesn't matter, because Nobody will criticize them
I saw the headline “Trump Attacks WHO chief Over Criticisms of U.S. Approach to Coronavirus” and thought...
What the hell did Pete Townshend do?!?
The word fanatic is the shortening of the phrase, "fan, nay, critic"
Have you heard about the new movie, "Constipation"?
It's not coming out any time soon but early critics are giving it shit reviews.
Never criticize your wife’s decisions...
Because you were one of them!
I had a newly created job as Corporate Critic...
where I could criticize and demean other employees. But the job was eliminated and I was let go when my co-workers complained about my DISS-POSITION.
The art critic had to see a podiatrist.
He was diagnosed with aesthetes foot. (OC)
Probiotics are a critical part of your diet
The health of your digestive system is too important to leave up to amateur biotics
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills
I don’t know why my wife criticized me for not stretching after exercising.
She knew I was already knotted up about it.
Did you hear about the new corn maze the pumpkin patch?
All the critics agree, it's hay-mazing!
In China, you can criticize every Roman numeral from I to X.
But you can't criticize XI.
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Breaking bad was just another critical meth movement.
A condom manufacturer kept getting criticized because its new gimmicks never did anything for women. So they did what any good company would do and went to the most knowledgeable frog in the world for advice. You know what the frog said?
Why do they call it a paring knife?
Because it cuts things into two, so now you have a pair.
My 15-year-old had to think about this for a minute... Then he goes "Wait, doesn't every knife do that?" Congratulations, son, that's called critical thinking.
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....
She hasn't realized it yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Pinnochio was doing Stand Up and asked the audience for constructive criticism
One audience member said, “Well the routine was funny and all but your performance was a little wooden,”
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
If they had 4 it would be a chicken sedan.
How did the pig get to hospital?
Critic
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
“Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?”
“Sure.”
“It's pretty much worthless.”
“I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.”
Did you know the first French Fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were actually cooked in Greece
At the zoo there is a famous hippopotamus critic they named Al. There is only one problem.
What do you call someone with, a sextant, a stetson, a saxophone and a syringe?
A rooting tooting shooting cowboy.
I like large animals, but hippos are just plain fat
Some people may consider this hippo-critical
What do you call a boat that doesn't allow criticism?
A movie about Janitors impressed critics.
Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.
To prevent your gyro meat from drying out, criticize it harshly while cooking.
Give it a good lamb basting.
If I criticize you on your bad lip fillers...
I saw a critic of dramatic musicals pick up some women. He's a smooth opera rater.
All of this criticism and backlash over Eminem's recent verses and punchlines is just the collective groan expected when the greatest rapper of all time starts making epic dad jokes.
FINAL FORM!
DAD'S UNITE!
OUR TIME HAS COME!
People criticize shops for selling Christmas stuff too early...
Well, our supermarket sells birthday cakes and mine isn't for another 6 months!
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?
He just took it in stride
Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
...because then you will be a mile ahead of them. And have their shoes.
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