Don't eat Electrical cords
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Borgir
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2022
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/--AJ---
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2023
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What's it called when you use an extension cord as a belt?

A waist of electricity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smellycow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2022
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Scientists recently grew human vocal cords in a petri dish

The results speak for themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yankee_doodle_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2022
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My son chewed on an electrical cord today.

Due to his current conduct, I had to ground him.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alihmcm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2022
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What do you do with a child that has eaten electrical cords?

You ground him until he conducts himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomrummetsKald
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2022
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My 6 year old son won’t stop chewing on electrical cords.

So I grounded him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmoro16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2022
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My friend called me on the phone today and said that he changed his name to "Spinal Cord".

I told him, "I'm busy, I'll call you Back."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimaBahamut93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2022
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There are no good jokes about bungee cords.

Because most punchlines are a stretch.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2022
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What do you do if your toddler eats electrical cords?

Ground them until they conduct themselves properly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginger-Beefcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords! What do it do?

Ground him until he conducts himself properly.

Edit: Thanks for the upvolts and awards. Gotta go, my son just flipped a breaker!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkeyshinenyc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2021
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A friend of mine damaged his vocal cords some time ago.

I haven't heard from him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatOneKoolestKid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2022
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electrifying!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suttonwife8990
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2023
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Why wouldn’t the spinal cord ask out it’s crush

It was too nervous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realiggmonster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2022
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I once tried a bungee jumping cord to the roof of the school.

I got suspended

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickcheney600
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2022
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Did you hear about the outlet who got in a fight with the power cord?

He thought he could socket to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeathwaiter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2022
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Why do Amish buggies have a cord that goes from the cab to around the horses testicles?

Park brake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2022
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Jokes about birth are easy if you want to get a laugh

It's just all about the delivery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthPotato018
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2023
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My daughter has been chewing on electric cords.

So I grounded her until she conducts herself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BestDadBod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2021
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Computer programmer was out driving

A computer programmer was driving whilst contemplating the idea of a 2 to be added to the binary system, so consumed by this conundrum resulting in a lack of attention to the road. She crashed shortly thereafter and was attached to a life support in a hospital overnight. Doctors told her family "we've tried everything but nothing seems to be working, it's time you say your goodbyes". Her husband entered and said "I'm no good at this, I don't know what to do", her child tripped over the life support cord and unplugged it, the child then replugged the life support in and miraculously the computer programmer woke up instantly and starting putting on her boots. The doctor exclaimed "Impossible, how did you recover so fast?!"

"I was turned off and on again so I'm booting up"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Klor204
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2023
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I caught my son chewing on an extension cord

So I had to ground him

Don't worry, he puts conducting himself properly now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caduceus_11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2021
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A biology teacher grew human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab…

The results speak for themselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2021
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If at first you don't succeed...

Skydiving might not be the sport for you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjjodele
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2022
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Swallowed two pieces of string earlier.

I shit you knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stealth_bummer_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2022
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Cutting an umbilical cord is very painful.

So painful, it's usually months before the victim can walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2021
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOtherLeft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2023
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I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord…

…so I grounded him.

He’s doing better currently and conducted himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scotchmckilowatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2023
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My son started to chew on electrical cords…

I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

My wife was shocked at my response to this.

πŸ‘︎ 761
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2022
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Scientists have grown human vocal cords in a Petri dish

The results speak for themselves.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Expensive_Ad6082
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2023
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My son wants to use an extension cord as a belt.

I won't have him waisting electricity.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prlugo4162
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords

He's now grounded until he conducts himself properly

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bufftbone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords

So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Motasim09
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2022
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My son was chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him.

I'm so happy to report that he is doing better currently AND conducting himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2022
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My son was chewing on electrical cords so i had to ground him..

He is doing better currently and conducting himself properly

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords. What do I do?

Ground him until he conducts himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 273
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Briancrc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2022
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What do you do when your son has started eating electrical cords?

You ground him until he conducts himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 585
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaebassist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords

So i grounded him, until he conducts himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1Blue3Brown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2022
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My son has been eating electrical cords but I found a solution

I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belisarius180
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2022
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my toddler was chewing on an electrical cord...

so I grounded him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TypicalCherry1529
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
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My son has been eating electrical cords. What should I do?

Ground him until he conducts himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The8uLove2Hate_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2021
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My son has been eating electrical cords. What do I do?

Ground him until he conducts himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 358
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRealVim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2021
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I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord.

So I grounded him until he can conduct himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjbraun5151
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2021
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My son has been eating electrical cords

So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoexD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him..

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/champion-13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My son kept chewing on the electrical cords so I had to ground him...

He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evadguitar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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My son kept chewing on the electrical cord,

So I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

He's now conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redylittle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2021
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I had to punish my kid because he won't stop eating electrical cords.

I told him he's grounded until he conducts himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2021
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