Converse Relation Puns

I called some relatives and got to hear this gem of a conversation:

My stupid teenage cousin wants to go to some party and my uncle was so cringe. He said to him that everything was dangerous due to exposure and he quoted statements made popular in the news:

Steven: I want to go to Nikki's No School party.

Uncle: Are you crazy? You have to be safe. What about social distancing, Steve?

Steven: I'm not going to get sick. I'm not old.

Uncle: Yeah you can, you idiot. You're not going. Hashtag go home, I mean stay home.

I was like 🙄

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

Having a family get together after several of my relatives got pregnant when the conversation turns to this fact one says:

"Ahhh there must be something in the air..."

"Well, their legs." he calmly explained beer in hand and staring into thin air.

At last thanksgiving, almost all my relatives were together, and so we ended up turning the conversation to our other relatives. Eventually I found out that my aunt had been a chain smoker, so I replied "Well, looks like she quit just in the nicotine!"

A huge collective groan was heard from the whole table, but my Dad and Granddad smiled, nodded, and high fived me in approval.