The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A man was sentenced to 20 years in prison when he inadvertently contaminated the food supply of 30 specimens of America’s national bird.

His actions were highly ill-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Food contamination warning!

Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prawncracker92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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If you get an e-mail from the CDC about tins of pork being contaminated with COVID-19, don’t open it.

It’s Spam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoomerB3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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If you get an email about canned ham contaminated with COVID-19...

It's spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hicycles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...

The whole mission must be scrubbed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Why is first-century Rome like a 2-star restaurant?

Neither one is concerned about cross contamination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Full of constant puns, tomfoolery and an extreme amount of cross-contamination; this video has it all. You may even learn to cook too! Wok With Yan youtube.com/watch?v=PTjwT…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilkKringle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Did you hear about the ketchup contaminated by E-coli?

Authorities are still trying to get to the sauce of the outbreak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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They're to die for.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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Sneezing in church is...

...mass contamination.

Note: The play on the word mass which can refer to a church service or a large number of people.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Why did the gynecologist wash their hands?

Because they were afraid of crotch-contamination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cassei
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Accident with red blood to bring blue to the world.

It took an accident with red blood to bring blue to the world.

A pigment maker named Diesbach was trying to create a popular red out of cochineal, an insect still used for red dye in everything from lipstick to ketchup.

He added iron sulfate mixed with potash which we later discovered has a useful element now called potassium.

Anyway, the potash he used was contaminated with animal blood, which contains iron, and rather than creating red, he accidentally invented an affordable, long-lasting true blue.

When it came to making red pigment... he really BLUE it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starzwillsucceed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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Scientists have located the wood that they believe Christ was crucified on.

Carbon dating puts it at 2000+ years old. However, other items located nearby were much newer. Scientists believe it’s just cross contamination.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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Dad joked anyone who gave the kid Halloween candy

When they answered the door to give him candy, I had him say "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" or "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" and "I'm allergic to candy, do you have any sardines?"

He also stood facing away from the door for some.

He got a lot of laughs, a door slammed in his face and an offer for spicy mustard sardines.

Video: Halloween dad joke: http://youtu.be/Mp3IBlZnfFw (Forgive the vertical. I was trying to be discrete so not to contaminate the proceedings.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rasalom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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Fridge Problems

Recently, my mother started smelling a coolant leak from our refridgerator. She called the repair man and he started work. Several hours later, he had his diagnosis, and it wasn't good. The whole machine was going to need to be replaced. Just as he was finishing up, my dad walked in. My dad asked the repair man what the damages were, and he explained that the coolant intake had sprung a leak. The whole unit was sealed, and air was now getting in and contaminating the entire system. The repair costs of the fridge would be about the same as getting a new one. My dad just sighed and looked at his hands.

Dad: "It sucks." He looked at the repair man with a goofy grin on his face. The repair man thought for a moment before answering.

Repair man: "Yeah... it does suck." Then both men cracked up laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluefoot_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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I'm always sure to keep my toothpaste and dental tape separated...

...so as to avoid floss-contamination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSidewalkSlam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
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ATTENTION: DO NOT SWIM IN LAKES, RIVERS, POOLS OR STREAMS

It has been found these locations are contaminated with dihydrogenmonoxide, one of the deadliest compounds in the world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
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The Catholic church is considering going all-in on gluten-free wafers..

At risk is cross-contamination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/random_feedback
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Sneezing in church is...

...mass contamination

Note: The play on the word mass which can refer to a church service or a large number of people.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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