Bigfoot often gets confused with Sasquatch...
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
Whatβd the confused alligator say when acting like a rooster?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
I was watching my son play a Zelda game and I told him it's more effective to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons. He looked at me all confused and asked why? I told him it's because...
that way you won't take any fall damage.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
What did the egyptian people say when banishing the sexually confused criminal?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
A vampire was confused at his reflection
He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
My wife was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"
I said "Because you're Russian me."
π︎ 94
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
I'm always confused when I hear people say they pick their nose
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
What did ununhexium say when it was confused?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Yesterday I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza".
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. I was a bit confused.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
My kids get confused when I throw whole basil leaves at them this time of year
But as they say, 'tis the season
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Turkey walks into a bar. The bartender looks a little confused and asks "who are you?" Turkey replied "I'm a wild turkey." Bartender replied "oh we have a drink named after you!"
Turkey says "blulululu awesome, bring me a Kevin!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
If I had a nickel every time I was confused
Iβd be like, where the fuck do all these nickels keep coming from?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
I used to be so confused about everything but now I'm not sure.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
My girlfriend asked me to feed her anaconda hotdogs while she is out of town. I did, but it wouldnβt touch them. Confused, I called her and asked why
She said: βMy anaconda donβt want none unless it has buns, hunβ
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Son: "all these plot twists are making me confused"
Me: "Hi confused, I'm Mom"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
A child in Egypt got separated from her mom in the crowd and was looking for her but got confused.
Because there were so many mummies.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Confused Screaming
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
What do you call a confused wireless connection?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
I was trying to sell my car to this guy. He asked a bunch of questions about it and seemed interested, then asked βcargo space?β I was confused and told him no.
π︎ 291
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
The other day I was driving by a prison and an unusually small person was scaling down the wall. I looked up at him confused as he sneered back at me.
And I thought to myself, well thatβs a little condescending.
sorry itβs a repost of myself. My original post got removed for hate speech and harassment
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
When I first heard the proposal to rename Oklahoma City after Ohio, I was confused as to why anyone would want that. But after hearing someone explain the logic behind it, I thought to myself:
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, βhuh, thatβs weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why thatβs weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.
I told him they were my slippers.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
Somebody told me this is a fucking pun. Maybe he confused the sausage for a weiner?
π︎ 49
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
Not really sure this is a dad joke but my daughter just confused us both. She's making bracelets and said she plans to sell them for 50 cents to raise money for her school.
She said she'll give half to her school and keep a quarter for herself.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
I am a little confused about why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday
I don't know what to make of it
π︎ 30
π
︎ May 09 2020
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 16 2020
What agency is the most confused about itβs age?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
this has confused me for years, what's the joke
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
An old guy was confused and called me with the wrong number, so as a joke I gave him my brother's number. He called my brother, who ingeniously played the joke back and gave him my number. After the old guy dialed me again, my wife asked, "Who called?"
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 26 2020
Bigfoot sometimes gets confused with Sasquatch...
Yeti never complains... π€
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
In Past, I used to be so confused about everything
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I got the word "jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused
Now I'm in hot water with the japanese mafia.
π︎ 262
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...
...Yetti never complains.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...
π︎ 42
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch
Itβs abominable...
Yeti never complains...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
I've gone and confused the words 'Yakuza' with 'Jacuzzi'
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
What connection is confused?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
I got the words βjacuzziβ and βyakuzaβ confused.
Now Iβm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
π︎ 23k
π
︎ Dec 15 2018
Iβm a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I donβt know what to make of it.
π︎ 236
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
