dont know if its already been posted but pls this is gold
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 30 2021
On Father's Day, my wife and kids woke me up, lifted their coffee cups and said, "You're great, splendid, magnificent, superb, fantastic"
Me: What's this?
Wife: When I asked you what you wanted for your father's day breakfast, you said 'just a coffee and synonym toast'.
π︎ 34
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︎ Jul 03 2021
As my wife opened the cabinet, a coffee cup crashed on her head
It's awful to see someone you love mugged.
π︎ 45
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︎ Jun 04 2021
Old but gold
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
π︎ 46
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︎ May 26 2021
I think this may have been posted already, but this is gold
π︎ 33
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︎ May 30 2021
I've made the best cups of tea in the world... What can I say?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 04 2021
Argon enters a bar, the bartender says βWe donβt serve noble gases here.β
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jul 06 2021
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jun 27 2021
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Comedic gold
π︎ 50
π
︎ May 16 2021
Do you prefer gold or silver?
Because for me it's either ore.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 07 2021
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 17 2021
Some guy coated all his cups and plates in black varnish.
You might say he japanned his china.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup
I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I donβt think Iβm ready to compete just yet
π︎ 33
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
How do you know if you're in a cafe that makes a real good cup of tea?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 22 2021
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget...
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget and dug through my feces to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
Iβm ready to share my Grandmaβs special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 26 2021
What does a chemist say when he spills boiling gold all over himself?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 20 2021
My song recently went gold
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 29 2021
I pulled a muscle digging for gold....
no worries though, it's just a miner injury.
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 19 2021
How do cups get their money?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 04 2021
If you want to get into the gold market you need a thick skin.
Thereβs lots of bullion involved.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 17 2021
My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold β¦
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
Two man walk into a coffee shop, one of them orders a Cup of Tea and starts stripping.
The man behind counter says: what the hell is this?
To which the second man says: he's new to Tea
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Drinking a stranger's cup of tea...
...is really not my cup of tea.
π︎ 123
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Old Gold
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
Chemist n Plumber
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Gold peanuts
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
Old But Gold.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Discord chats sometimes have gold
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
While at Starbucks, I said I didn't want the sippy cup lip.
They gave me my drink and said "this is the last straw."
π︎ 24
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︎ Mar 03 2021
A SMALL CARTOON MAN.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
What do you call a cup coaster that fell in the floor?
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Optimist: "That cup is half full."
Pessimist: "That cup is half empty."
Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
π︎ 177
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
I love GOLD , but *A* is silent in it!#chem punsΖͺ(Λβ£Λ)Κβ(β
ο½β)β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Itty bitty t-cup committee
π︎ 219
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
My daughter told me nothing rhymes with orange. I told her sheβs wrong.
Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
OP's post is for context but the comments are gold
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
What's the difference between Michelob ultra and pure gold?
One is a minor fined, the other is a miner's find.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
I pulled a muscle digging for gold.
It was just a miner injury.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2021
I pulled a muscle while digging up gold
π︎ 107
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
I pulled a muscle while I was digging for gold.
π︎ 156
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
This is gold.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
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