College Degree Puns

They were some real 3rd degree burns.

I'm trying to become a rockstar.

When I asked why, they said.

"It's a dying trade".

Friend: What kind of orange is that? Me: A navel orange? Friend: So how is that different from an army orange? Me: ...

Me: I'm taking a college class about what it's like 32 degrees below the freezing point of water.

My friend: Cool, do you mind telling me what it's called?

Me: 0F course.

https://preview.redd.it/om6zintogpq21.png?width=1300&format=png&auto=webp&s=1b90d0b3afdf51473744930a3c05319b96c00ecb

I heard that in college he had a couple of degrees.

What do you call two crows sitting on a branch? Attempted murder.

A photon walks into a hotel and goes to the desk to check in. The bellhop walks up and asks if he needs help with his luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Did you hear what happened to the man that was chilled to 0 degrees Kelvin? He was OK.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early? Christian Bale

And now my college president is giving me the 3rd degree!

This come courtesy of my wife

A whale walks into a bar, as soon as the bartender sees him he starts yelling at him, we don't serve your kind here, get out! So the whale leaves and resolves to change things, he goes to college, gets his business degree and buys the bar he was thrown out of. He hires the same bartender and kept everything the same. He walks into the bar, now the proud owner, and again the bartender see him. What can I get you boss the bartender asks nervously. The whale pauses shortly as if contemplating, he then opens his mouth and says, blub blub blub because whales can't talk.

I complained at my sister's college graduation about how hot it was at the front of the tent when I was trying to get a picture of her crossing the stage. He says, "well there are 619 degrees up there."

My father was so proud he regurgitated that joke for everyone else all day.

My professor and I were emailing about the final project I had recently submitted when I decided to take the time to thank her for being so helpful. Professors that make classes easier to understand and add a little humor to their lectures deserve all the praise in the world, and mine was no exception to that. This was also my first class that wasn't a general education course, starting me on an MIS degree.

I emailed her saying something along the lines of,

"Thanks for being so helpful throughout the semester, this was my first MIS class and you really gave me the confidence I needed in knowing I was doing it right."

I followed with "Thanks for making this class so interesting, I will be transferring to (insert new college here) to continue earning my MIS degree. I think it's safe to say you influenced my decision to a certain degree. Hah! Certain degree, get it?"

She called me over after next lecture to tell me how bad my pun was while groaning and chuckling. No regrets.

My two sister-in-laws and I were sitting around the table with their dad taking about their college classes, requirements for their majors, degrees, etc. My father in law says, "you don't want to get too many degrees, you'll get a temperature!"