Coarsely Puns

That's assault

At the food pyramid.

He hates it when it's high ground.

He talked with a rasp.

He’ll be fine

Diagonalley.

From the French Press

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Tells Court “ I only wanted to rough him up a bit”

But they quickly smoothed it out.

The man wants to buy some spread sausage: "Good morning, can I get some from the coarse and thick one, please?"Butcher: "I'm sorry, but she's at trade school today."

To which I responded, "Please don't use coarse language."

I told her of coarse not he’s a hoe.

It's a little coarse

It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

"Of coarse I do," I replied.

It wasn't a serious crime, so the judge imposed the medium fine, payable in due coarse.

Of coarse they do, it doesn’t jump from July 3rd to July 5th.

Because he does not like coarse sand.

So I'm at a local garage sale, and I can't help myself, I have to look into the free bin.

there, staring back at me was a guitar without any strings on it... and of coarse the dad joke of a lifetime.

A sign that read "free guitar, no strings attached." :D

Grandpa: Are you being safe with this Corona Virus issue?

Me: of coarse!

Grandpa: Very good, make sure you always have a mask on outside and carry a bunch of sand with you!

Me: I always have a mask on but why do I need sand?

Grandpa: You didn't hear about the sand? Its very effective! Wherever you suspect the virus is hiding, you grab a handful of sand and throw the sand at it to stone the virus to death!

I love my grandpa lol made me laugh

So my sister asked me to call her cell phone, so i of coarse said "here cell phone here come out cell phone". She then yelled at me and said "nooooooo use your cell phone to call mine", i said "yes of coarse how silly of me". I then went to get my cell phone, i then made a recording of my self calling for her cell phone, i proceeded to go back to her and play it. My sister was not amused and i laughed to hard.

A sailor and his buddies are walking down the streets, looking for the nearest pub. A guard takes one look at their arms and immediately arrests them for piracy. He could see their coarse hairs.

Of Coarse It Is!