Girlfriend hit me with a classic one

Trying to send a flirty message, I sent her "They call me SjaakAfhaak, but you can call me tonight ;)".

To which she replied: "Hi tonight!"

I think I should keep her

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📅︎ Feb 19 2017
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found this old classic while i was packing to move, the memories and nostalgia hit me like a Flood. imgur.com/9FlTV9c
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📅︎ Jul 30 2013
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My dad hit me with a classic today

Him: cmon! Let's go!

Me: hold on

Him: to what?

Me: you're hilarious.

Him: ok.

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👤︎ u/bay1998
📅︎ Jul 02 2014
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Classic dad joke i got hit by this morning.

So i get downstairs around 06:45AM this morning. Dad's standing in the kitchen, fidgeting around with something. Mind you, he had been sick the past week or so. Dad: "G'morning. How are you?" Me: "Not too shabby, you?" I prepare my breakfast as he responds "Eh, I'm too smart." I wonder if I understood what he was saying correctly, so i ask him to repeat what he said, and he goes "I'm too smart." once again. I keep thinking to myself "WTF man?" He then turns around with a package of these in his hand: http://imgur.com/OMXu5r9 "I have to take retard pills." I give him the classical "really dad" look, after which he said "That was [morally] bad, don't tell anyone."

Jokes on you dad.

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👤︎ u/Swissbubi
📅︎ Nov 10 2015
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My Dad hits me with the classic every single time...

Dad: Do you want a sandwich?

Me: No thanks, I don't really feel like a sandwich.

Dad: pokes arm Yeah, you're right.

God damn it!

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📅︎ Sep 03 2013
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Hit my nephew with a classic.

My mom, brother, dad and I were making the food for the dinner. When one of my nephews says "I'm hungry!" My dad and I both had a twinkle in our eyes, so I turn around, and with the most amount of sarcasm I could muster, I said: "Hi hungry, I'm jesusdo." My wife heard me in the living room, and said "oh leave the poor creature alone." My nephew said "I'm serious!" Then my dad said "but I thought that you were hungry a second ago."

Edit: added my dad's response.

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👤︎ u/jesusdo
📅︎ Nov 27 2014
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My girlfriend hit her foot on the table...

I tried to hit her with the classic "Should I call a toe truck?" She said, "Very funny, but I hit the bottom of my foot." So I said, "Then maybe I should call the Sole Train."

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👤︎ u/branchness
📅︎ Sep 18 2016
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How I learned my business law professor is a dad on the last day of class

In my business law class we were discussing this court case. In the case, a woman named Courtney was hitting off the tee box at a country club and sliced the shot off the course. The ball hit a guy who was working on a nearby roof, and gave him permanent brain damage. Our professor then asked us who we thought was responsible for the damages: the golf course, the course designer, or the woman. A student in the back asks "Well what if Courtney was drunk while she was playing" to which our professor responded

"Well then we would just have a classic case of drinking... and driving."

I'm still not sure which was louder, my friend and I bursting out laughing or the collective groan that filled the room.

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👤︎ u/bip213
📅︎ Apr 23 2015
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hit in the back with a pencil

Today in my class, somebody broke a pencil in 1/2 and threw it across my classroom. It hit me in the back. I told them we wouldn't leave the room until somebody fessed up and they sat in silence for a solid 10 minutes until I got out paper and made them write eye-witness statements (classic teacher move). As I was passing out the paper, one of the kids blurted out, "guys look what this has LEAD to." He couldn't hold it in any longer than he already had.

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👤︎ u/Lissy666
📅︎ Oct 10 2014
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I dadjoked my boss today. He didn't see it coming.

So I work retail and I was restocking shelves on a hardware isle with tools, doohickeys, and thingies. He was walking and talking with a new boss (training him and such) when they stopped at my isle. They didn't really notice me so it was perfect.

I picked up a stud finder and hit 'em with a classic!

"Hey guys check it out! It's a stud finder" Runs it over chest "Beep beep beep. Oh hey it's working!"

My boss had a few chuckles and the other guy said something about it being stupid but smiled anyways. Me? I was laughing my ass off.

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📅︎ Feb 12 2014
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