Chested Puns

One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean

Tell your friends, there's no charge for the joke.

That's just how I roll.

I’m really worried she won’t be able to pull it off.

I told her Michael Boob-lay

She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody

He was sailing on the seven C’s

I think it's preying man tits.

An Arrrrgasm

Tomorrow, I’m going to wear it and stand on the corner at an intersection where panhandlers usually are. My plan is to hand out lemons to stopped drivers. When life gives you lemons ...

Nevertiti.

It would be a travesty.

It was the booty calls.

I ran inside to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...

... she said it was good to talk abou tit

Dinomite

At least the both have something "in" common.

He went downhill pretty quick after that.

“I’m glad that I got that off my chest.”

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

This place is back wards.

Why would I need a hairy chest?

ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?

DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]

A ho-tell. That's where she would go to get something off her chest.

I’m sorry but that’s how I roll.

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

I hope it takes the weight off your chest.

takes shirt off

It depends on which direction the wind is blowing.

So I said: "You're a doctor."

It was really heartwarming

It feels like a weight’s been lifted from my chest.

It’s how I roll.

I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.

An Arrrgasm!

That's just how I roll.

That's just how I roll.

Thats just how i roll

That’s how I roll

I don’t think she will be able to pull it off.

I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.

I’m worried she won’t be able to pull it off.

That’s just how I roll.

That’s just how I roll

I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.

I was about to run inside and tell my wife about it, and then I remembered why I was digging in our garden

A boomer.

But that's just how I roll

Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.