"How long is this test?"
"About 11 inches"
Edit: Didn't think it'd be too big of a deal but I put "AP" just from habit, didn't think about it much. For those that don't know, "AP" means "Advanced Placement".
I guess they donโt have good chemistry.
See how the basic unit is a photon? It has the same '-on' ending as other basic units - like electron, neutron, proton. Now what's the basic unit of sociology?
...
...
...
A pers-on.
So before chem, I went to the cafeteria to get a muffin because they're freshly made when chem starts. The only thing is that the chocolate chips are very melty, so it's easy to get some on your face.
About halfway through the class, my friend whispered to me "Hey." "What?" "You have something on your face." I proceed to wipe my face "A nose."
A rebellious Chemistry student was asked to give the formula for Nitrogen Monoxide, NO he yelled as he stormed out of the room.
Girl: "Hey teacher, guess what I saw on friday?"
Teacher: "Everything you looked at?"
So, we learned about redox reactions in Chemistry yesterday, and the professor had said how the molecules in a redox reaction were called the reductant and the oxidant.
Well, at the end of class, I asked the prrofessor, "So, is it good if my mom tells me I was her favorite oxidant?" Thankfully, the professor laughed, and I got a groan out of someone that was on their way out the door but overheard me.
This is also known as... Avocado's Number.
those who can extrapolate from incomplete data....
A chem ex
Funny collection of chemistry puns
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโs 0K now.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you canโt helium or curium, you barium!
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because itโs in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocadoโs number.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What element is a girlโs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโs 0K now.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe
What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A โgramโ cracker.
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a โcarbonkneelโ
What did one titration tell the other? Letโs meet at the endpoint.
How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because itโs basic material.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down
Why do chemistry professor like to
... keep reading on reddit โกCoworker: This is a racket. How do they justify charging an extra $3000 for something like sodium bicarbonate?
Me: Right? It's not like it's some fancy, top-secret compound. It's pretty basic.
My other coworker is a chem major about to enter grad school. He made me go work in the corner for a while after that one.
We were watching tv and I was snacking on beef jerky.
Me: You know, beef jerky is actually a pretty healthy snack.
Sis: Huh, well don't you need to lower your sodium intake the rest of the day?
Me: Na
...after a minute or two...
Sis: ...oh god dammit!
We're both engineers btw, I'm MechE she's ChemE.
On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine
I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.
Thanks in advance.
