Cetshwayo Puns

Let's pretend, for whatever reason, Cetshwayo accepted Frere's impossible ultimatum. What would have happened?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

Before I start with my picks, I just want to disclose that I am in fact horribly biased towards pre-colonial civs, especially in Africa where there’s a metric boatload of cool history that doesn’t get talked about enough. As such, my picks will pretty much all be pre-colonial, but I’ll of course be mentioning cool post-colonial civs in honorary mentions as well.

Nile Valley: Egypt (Djoser)

I don’t personally care much about ancient Egypt, but we’ve never had a proper Egyptian civ in the CBR and I don’t want to screw over my Upper Nile picks, so I’m rooting for Djoser due to the civ’s solid AI and simple yet neat design.

Alternatively, you may want more flavor - in that case, Akhenaten is a lovely pick with a famously eccentric leader.

If you don’t want yet another Egypt or you’re just rooting for Uganda, then Makuria comes highly recommended - they're super cool and underrated as a long-lived successor state to Nubia, and their AI has some victories under their belt.

Maghreb: Alaouites

First off, before anything else, I just want to say that the three Moroccan civs are the easy top picks in the area. All three are new and excellent, it’s just a matter of which one to pick. Personally, I trust the Alaouites most to perform in an AI game with their solid AI and military-production design, and Ismail ibn Sharif is just a rad historical figure. The “bloody king” had 868 kids! (He was also compared to his contemporary Louis XIV, so if you’re by any chance rooting for the Sun King in the France region, here you go.)

The Almohads are also a solid pick, with a religious-military design and respectable AI (which needs to be redeemed after the CGR). Plus, they have lovely colors and a fun potential rivalry with any civs in Iberia.

But of course, Tetouan is the easy pick in the area. I mean, come on, who doesn’t want a Muslim Pirate Queen of the Mediterranean? Pirates are a must in the CBR, and Sayyida al-Hurra is a top pick, though I’m a bit suspicious of her AI.

Any of those three will be a fun addition to the CBR, it’s just a matter of taste, honestly. One final note: Mago’s Carthage tends to do very poorly in AI games, I wouldn’t recommend them.

West Africa: Songhai

I do like both Mali and Songhai, but I trust Sonni Ali’s Songhai more to actually perform. They actually have a naval-focused design, which will help prevent them from getting boxed in and running out of expansion opportunities like

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.