Cesare Puns

My wife was dishing out food. She put some salad on a plate and handed it to my daughter.

Then my wife looked at me and said, "Cesar Salad?"

I immediately grabbed my daughter's plate and pulled it out of her hands. My daughter got confused (maybe wondering if she did something wrong?). My wife asks me, "What the hell are you doing???"

I responded, "Sorry. Could have sworn you just said seize her salad."

Was Julius Cesar the first Holey Roman emperor?

Chicken sees a salad

You're my romeboy.

They played rock paper Caesar

This is from a few years ago, but it's one of my favorite's from my dad:

"So, let me get this straight... he can train all these other dogs, but he can't keep his one bitch in line?"

With Little Cesar’s

In an alternate reality, Cesar lived to be an old man. One day at the Roman Retirement Forum, he saw his old friend, Brutus.

He picked up his bellows and asked, "O2, Brute?"

I made meatballs for meatball subs for dinner. it didn't go so well. green is dad.

Me: "If these meatballs keep catching on fire I'm not going to make them any more"

> it's dinner by zero THE DINNER ON FIRE!!! (legit Cesar voice and everything)

Me: laughing and choking on soda

>what? what's the matter? Katniss got your tongue? exit stage right

Chicken Cesar salad.