My cat scratches me to get my attention, I like to think he doesn't realize he's hurting me,

he just has issues with claws and effects.

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Jul 30 2020
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My wife and I were starting to make out on the couch, when our cat scratched me.

My wife said she was protecting her. I said "no, you just can't have two women in a room without one of them getting catty."

She left the room, came back, told me that was a terrible joke, and left again. I was very pleased with myself.

👍︎ 22
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👤︎ u/dscott06
📅︎ Dec 18 2017
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What did the caveman say when the cat scratched him?

Me ow.

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/weirdbacon
📅︎ Jan 11 2018
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(true story) My partner had a scratch on his face

I said, "Oh, how'd you get that?"

He was like, "I honestly don't remember, I came home and noticed it."

I put my hand on his forehead and said, "Do you have a fever?"

He said, "Nope, I feel fine."

And I said, "Good ............... it's not a cat scratch then."

He still gets mad about when I bring it up.

👍︎ 15
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📅︎ Jun 24 2019
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