I was in love with a doctor so I'd always get into car crashes... When she asked why I'm always getting in accidents, I told her "so I.C.U"
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
What the local Hungry Howies changed their sign to after someone crashes their car into it.
What do ghosts do to avoid dying in car crashes?
They buckle their sheet belts!
Why are there so many car crashes in Russia?
Because everybody's Russian all the time.
Why did Walter White crash his car?
I crashed my car into the discount liquor store yesterday.
Let me tell you, I was not in good spirits.
Did you hear Clifford the big red dog caused a car crash!
One of the cars got T-boned!
What happens to an Italian’s car when it gets into a crash?
The Rice Krispies sponsored racer crashed his car.
The sounds heard during the incident were described by spectators as snap, crackle, and pop.
How did the leper crash his car?
He left his foot on the gas
My friend at the cemetery: "My son died crashing the car while sneaking out to go to a party"
Me: "I can see why you grounded him"
A car crash is a tragedy, but pileup is a statistic
After the car crash that left me brain-damaged, things were really looking down
I used to be a crustaceologist that specialised in lobsters. I loved what I did, but I couldn't even get out of the house on my own after the accident, much less go to work. I fell into a deep depression.
My scientist friends wanted to cheer me up, and so they engineered a robot lobster that I could take care of. It was incredibly smart and slowly became my best friend. It was incredibly friendly and playful. It made every day a little bit brighter. I loved it like my own child. I named it Amy, after my beloved daughter that had moved away. For the first time since my disability, I started to feel truly happy. Motivated, I decided to go for brain surgery and finally get past the entire incident. It was risky, but I made it through. Life is better than its ever been now, and I owe it all to that one robot that changed it all.
Everything is so much better now, all thanks to my Lob-bot amy
i quit writing my short story about a car crash
Dad: "What is loud, uses gas, propels a car and has ears? An Engine." Kid "Ears?"
"What, you have never head of engineers?"
Neighbor crashed his car into my upstairs bathroom and I wondered…
Why did the gay dude crash his car?
He didn't drive straight.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
What did the cop say when he crashed his car in the tree?
That's gotta be the fastest time that we have arrived on the crime scene
Tiger Woods in a massive car crash.
Should have used the driver.
What happens when you crash your fancy new car?
My dog stole my car and crashed it...
I guess he had a ruff ride
How did a car crash victim get rid of his anger issues?
He was temper errorly disabled
What do you call an american car that crashed into a body of water?
A Fjord fusion!
I'll see my way out
if you crash your car in your driveway who do you blame?
You can't blame anyone else that's your own asphalt!
Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?
Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming
Cop 1: So how did his car crash?
Cop 2: Maybenhe wanted to see his Mercedes-bend
A couple I know died recently when an aeroplane landed on their house
It was the husband's fault, he was always leaving the landing light on
I've just seen a traffic accident in town, a police car crashed into a fire engine.
I was going to call for an ambulance, but that might've been asking for trouble.
Did you hear the one about Epstein’s Prison Guard who died in a car crash?
It’s all over next weeks papers
I just crashed my car in a lane between two houses -- one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Ball, and one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Thank god I was dragged out by the Smiths.
What do you call a car crash with dinosaurs?
A man crashed his car into the sidewalk
It curbed his enthusiasm.
My son crashed his car for the third time this week.
I said "Give it a break, will you?".
What did the drug addict with a lisp say when he crashed his car?
When your name is Lando and you’re in Nando’s car and you nearly crash
Did you hear about the Campbell’s truck driver that got into a car crash?
The doctor informed him he had a cancussion.
If a car had a computer controlling it, a virus could crash it.
Car crash (dark humor)
Car:*Crashes and engine starts setting on fire*
My dad: *escapes burning car*
Me: *Stuck*
Me:"DAD QUICK HELP I'M STUCK AND THE CAR IS GONNA BLOW SOON"
My dad:"Hi Stuck im dad"
What happened when the frog crashed his car?
What does Trump say about a car crash he was involved in?
What do you call it when a Tyrannosaurus gets into a car crash?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
