The hardest thing about wrapping paper is...

Not many words rhyme with β€œpaper”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremec
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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What do you call a Caper that rolls of your plate?

An escaper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallhobbits
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
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What do you call a caper that falls off your bagel?

...an ESCAPER!

Discovered this gem while Wife was carrying her bagel to the table and lamenting the caper that fell to the floor en route.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shyrac
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
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Advertisers for cream cheese are running schmear campaigns...

...and they should all be lox'd up for their capers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceelogreenicanth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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While getting ready to prep dinner tonight

Me: I’m making salmon with capers, that work?

Wife: yeah, just hold the capers for me

Me: How long am I supposed to hold them for?

I was kicked out of the kitchen and she cooked. Worth every second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkovManiac
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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Did you hear they found a lost Marx Brothers film featuring a long lost 6th brother?

It's called The Great Underwear Caper starring Skid Marx

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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What is a thief's favorite garnish?

A caper!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetacticalpanda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Went to Pizza Express for a Team Lunch with work

Colleague reading menu: "What's a caper?"
Me: "It's halfway between a shenanigan and a scheme."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLightInChains
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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Cooking with my lady tonight...

I was cooking some broiled salmon with dill (key word here), capers and lemon. She REALLY wanted to use the Henckels 8" utility knife to cut up some celery and carrots for some soup while I was stripping the dill for the salmon. After she asked for the knife (we have plenty, but this has the best edge), I said, "What is your DILLS?! Just use another knife!" I had to repeat it two times before she got it and let out a she let out a huge groan while I got a good chuckle to myself. ^I'll^show^myself^out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dome215
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Scene of the Crime: Mother's Day Brunch

While we were having brunch, I took a delicious bite of a Smoked White Sturgeon Tartine and said "Mmmm, I love capers." My husband replied, "Is that why you watch all those crime shows?"

He still retells that one, because he's so proud of his best dad joke yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strixaluco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
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