What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?

Milky way

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brady01234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a girl’s favorite candy bar?

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t like candy bars anymore

They always Snicker at me

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??

Because he was Far-from-nougat!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried juggling some candy bars but kept dropping them.

I have Butterfingers.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bhjeff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
*pulls candy bar out of thin air*

Kid: WOW are you a magician?

Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/renskappert
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
When i wanted to take the PlayStation controller away from my little brother, I'd bribe him with a candy bar.

It was one of the Twix of the trade.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Pandemonium at the candy bar factory!

Someone had their Snickers in a Twix.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I put the candy bar on my face and started crying, but it won’t open...

It’s strange because it clearly said β€˜TEAR HERE’

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the Joker keep track of all his candy bars? In his Heath ledger.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ishouldjustdienow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I looked mysteriously at my son and whispered, "I steal candy bars using sleight of hand!"

"So I guess you could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve!"

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the funniest candy bar?

Snickers....

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bezigol
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you smash two candy bars together?

You've got yourself a Portmanteaublerone!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matrim611
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Caught my dog eating a candy bar and quickly took it away.

Now he's one ruthless son of a bitch.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a candy bar that speeds up a chemical reaction?

Kit Katalyst

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I drilled a hole in the middle of a candy bar...

I guess a black hole is in the center of the Milky Way

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Bob has 20 candy bars, he ate 18, What does he have now ?

Bob has diabetes.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RottenMind62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the magician keep candy bars on his jacket pockets?

Because he always liked to have a few Twix up his sleeve.

Cross posted to r/jokes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IDontClickAds
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a list that keeps track of toffee candy bars?

A Heath Ledger.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimateInferno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife just referred to the 'fun size' candy bar as "2 Musketeers"
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My son just told me a joke about candy bars

It wasn't that funny, so I just snickered

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skrrtskrrt21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

Trike or Treat

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2017
🚨︎ report
My daughters face was messy from a candy bar.

I said " you've got choc-lips ".

Didn't get a groan but she did do a deadpan courtesy laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjorn2bMild
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the magician have a candy bar on his shirt?

He needed a couple of twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?

He had a lot of Twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lancex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
🚨︎ report
What is the funniest candy bar?

Snickers

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I steal candy bars from counter...

You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bestchesthairna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?

He had twix up his sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hunteraln
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.