15 Hilarious Can Am Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?

Crew: I I Captain.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jan 21 2021

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Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!

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👤︎ u/AliTheHigh

📅︎ Nov 01 2020

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I am not a dad, so I can’t tell dad jokes

To do so would be a faux pa...

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👤︎ u/International_Sea285

📅︎ Dec 19 2020

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Yes, I am Christian; no, I can't tell you more about it.

Only my wife gets to enjoy my missionary position.

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👤︎ u/Naitraen

📅︎ Jan 10 2021

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Which one stole your broom ma’am? Can you pick her out of a line up?

No it was Witch two officer!

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👤︎ u/Texgymratdad

📅︎ Oct 06 2020

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I am trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike, but he still can't seem to do it

I guess it must be sprocket science

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👤︎ u/NoMoreTerritory

📅︎ Sep 21 2020

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I saw a bumper sticker saying “I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal”

Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.

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👤︎ u/tfowler11

📅︎ Jun 12 2020

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I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Sep 01 2018

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A television newslady is interviewing a horse that can tell whether a person is a homosexual or not. "Am I homosexual?" Asked the newslady. "Neigh," said the horse.

The newslady turns to the camera and says, "you heard it folks. 'Straight' from the horses mouth."

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Oct 11 2019

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Me: Sir, you can’t give me a ticket for speeding. I am planning to run a Marathon today.

Cop: Stop playing the race card.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Dec 05 2018

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Can I post here if i need help coming up with a pun? I’m a high school teacher and am implementing a “phone hotel”. I wanted to name it something clever. Like a name that sounds similar to a real hotel or even name it “Phone Hotel” with a clever slogan. Any ideas?

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👤︎ u/winnieloo

📅︎ Feb 08 2019

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My dad tells people his name is Sam at every restaurant we go to so when they call his name he can say "Sam I am"

He does this at every restaurant. He has been going to the same Starbucks for about 7 years now and to this day they still think his name is Sam.

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👤︎ u/grantishere

📅︎ Mar 07 2015

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Need a pun about flight by tomorrow, can you guys help me out, or am I just going to have to wing it?

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👤︎ u/Intelligenttrees

📅︎ Feb 13 2013

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I am scared about going to the dentist knowing how expencive it can be

I just have to brace myself and get it over with.

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👤︎ u/Knerteren

📅︎ Dec 01 2015

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This is serious, I am left with a joke that I can't figure out.

My friends grandfather would always ask him the same joke for 30 years till he passed. Want to see me wiggle my ear? And then he would hold his hand up in a fist and wiggle his thumb. Then walk away laughing. WHAT IS THE JOKE?!!?!

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👤︎ u/Modwalker

📅︎ Jan 29 2018

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