Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
I am reading a horror novel in Braille.
Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it.
What do you call a funny motorcycle
I am a mom but, here goes
Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?
You remember the a pollo missions.
I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
Harley-Davidson has invented a flying motorcycle.
The old bikes will henceforth be known as ground Hogs.
I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus
but graphing is where I draw the line
If falling asleep driving a car is sleeping behind the wheel, what do you call falling asleep driving a motorcycle?
Giraffes can never apologize to each other.
It takes them too long to swallow their pride.
Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.
You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"
They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.
Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.
I am so good at sleeping
I can do it with my eyes closed.
Man walks into a shop and picks up a can of bug spray
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?
Siri just said “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”
Turns out I’d left my phone in Airplane mode.
Get help... I am dying here
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
Why can't blind people eat fish ?
What do you call a chameleon that can’t change colors?
I am at the waiting room of the doctor’s office, wondering when my girlfriend’s checkup will be over.
Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.
"I can't stand being half motorcycle...
"I can't stand being half motorcycle, half bicycle", he moped.
Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour.
I am not a dad, so I can’t tell dad jokes
To do so would be a faux pa...
Today is the day I can post it
I am sooooo proud of myself for this one 😂
Can’t bear this weather anymore
Student: Professor, can I do something to raise my grade?
Professor: Um, you know it’s May, right?
Student: Of course, so sorry! “May I do something to raise my grade?”
After being single for years, my best friend said, "Can I set you up?
I said "Go on then!!"
Now I'm doing 12 years for a crime I didn't commit.
I am the punisher, feel my laugh!
Everyone keeps asking me that why am I such a pessimist all the time
I keep telling them that it's in my blood, be negative.
Yes, I am Christian; no, I can't tell you more about it.
Only my wife gets to enjoy my missionary position.
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked “can you see me ok?”
To which they answered “yes” “oui” “si” “ja”.
What kind of motorcycles do livestock ride?
What do you call Santa’s motorcycle brand?
Am so good at pushing things off that am now a PRO.
My wife was telling me I am of average intelligence.
What type of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Where you can find flat earthers?
I’ve got a pen that can write underwater…
It can write other words too ! 😄
I'm not sure I am that hungry
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?
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