Justice is served πŸ’₯
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-war-snipper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me if she ever had Alzheimer’s she’d commit suicide to save me the burden.

I told her that’s the sixth time she’s said that today.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sc00tzy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a annoying bird

A burden

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got the entire left half of his body ripped off in a horrible accident at his factory job that he had to support his family, and now he might die, or even worse, become a brain dead vegetable that is only an economic burden on his already poor family?

He's all right now :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigHummer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm going to name my daughter "Noe" It's pronounced Noel

Her entire existence will be my ultimate dad joke.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentAlarm25
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
🚨︎ report
We never discussed gravity much in my town.

It just never came up.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
How can I become closer than acquaintances with people?

I'm just asking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomas_nook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Neighbor: hey, would it be alright if I stored my boat in your yard?

It's a Civil War era iron-hulled gunboat. Would that be too much of a burden?

Me: I wouldn't call it a burden. More like a hardship.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Think it's easy living in a cold animal house?

Nope! It's a terrible burden. >!Brrr-Den!<

Wasn't sure if this was the place to post, or if I should look for Dad jokes instead.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/like_to_climb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a figment of your imagination that's difficult to carry around?

Tyler Burden.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cobblecloth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my buddy at work today.

So my friend at work has been having some shoulder problems and he has some scheduled surgery for it.

Today he says to me: "God damn, my shoulder's really bad. I need this surgery done or i might as well just die."

I reply: "you should just die then. it would be a burden off your shoulders"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1000eb4000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.