The wife was asking for recognition over the labours she endured for me, in order to give me my two kids...

So I thanked her for her cervix.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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During my first month on the road paving crew, they always gave me all the worst jobs. I endured all of it, up until they put me on paint duty...

...that's where I finally had to draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner youtube.com/watch?v=Dgc6R…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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A Woman Gives Birth While Enduring Constant Puns From Her Partner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleedingrobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Figured I'd share the Dad joke I told to my fellow runners while running an endurance course.

I ran a local Tough Mudder-like race in September (called Boldr Dash) which featured many obstacles over a four mile course. One of the obstacles was a huge ladder made out of tires that we had to climb up and over. While waiting my turn to climb it, I turned to the line and said "I hope nobody's TIRED!"

The combination of fatigue and disgust at my joke was everyone's reaction. A group groan, it was beautiful!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSteele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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Why am I always so tired on 1st April ...

... because I’ve just endured a 31 day March

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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A (very slightly) scientific dad-joke I just used on my long-suffering GF.

So, my GF was watching True Blood. I had donated platelets today, which I do every month. The following exchange ensued:

Me: "I wonder do vampires like platelets?"

GF: "They probably consider it one of their main food groups. Like we would view amino acids."

Me: "You're a meano!" (she has to endure lot of shite like this."

GF: "Well you're acidic!"

Me: "What are you basing this on?"

GF: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimateRealist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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Gelato joke

My son, currently 'enduring' a semester abroad in Florence, Italy, messages me: "Remind me to tell you about the history of gianduja. It's absurd."

My response: "Yeah, I heard it's kind of nutty."

No applause, please. I'll be here all week. Try the lasagna.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChallahWave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
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