Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
A monastery in Las Vegas kept getting chips in their donation box
It got so frustrating they decided to hire a chipmunk
When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
What transformer is made out of cardboard box and arrives in two days?
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?
Never mind it’s a sea-crate....
(I made this up please don’t murder me)
My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?
Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!
I just got sent a severed penis in a box with no address
Guess it was an anonymous tip
They were in the same damn box!
I made a small house with a cardboard box for the group of 10 ants running around in my room. Technically, I am now their landlord and they are my...
My friend found an old box of Altoids in his attic, and he is selling it for $200.
It was worth more in mint condition.
People think just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, I should walk around carrying a big old boom box on my shoulder.
But I refuse to go with that stereotype.
My son asked why I keep a box of matches in the fridge
I told him it's for when I want to have a light snack
What do you call a bunch of ducks in a box?
Awhile ago my roomate moved out, i was cleaning his old room when I stumbled upon a fake mustache in a box under his bed, when i asked him about it he replied:
“You finally found it, my secret stache”
A telescope turned up in our lost and found box
We don’t know who it belongs to, but we’re looking into it.
What's worse than two cats in a box?
Me: I'm going to grow out the hair on my upper lip, then shave it, put it in a box, and hide that box.
Wife: Why...?
Me: It's going to be my secret stash
I suspected my sister's butter had developed intelligence after she took it to school in her lunch box.
Sure enough, it was on her roll.
I was planning to buy my kids a jack-in-the-box for Christmas
But after looking for hours, I decided to pass. Nothing really jumped out at me.
A plumber and a contractor were arguing about something in a huge box.
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
OC: What is it called when a mama cat delivers her babies in the cat box?
A litter litter, literally.
My friend was talking about how he found a box of shotgun shells in his desk
I asked him if he could hear the ocean in them
I store my valuables in an old Monopoly box
Those box labels are really a 2-in-1.
i wonder what's in the box... maybe sum colorful eminems? 🤔
After numerous icings in a hockey game, a player was sent to the penalty box.
He needed time to thaw out.
I dropped a box of donuts in the parking lots and all the crows are eying them greedily...
My uncle always told me he had a fortune in a safe deposit box. He left me the key in his will.
I went to the bank, trembling with anticipation, got access to the box, took it into the private viewing room. I opened the box and looked in, there was an envelope in side, when I opened it, a folded piece of paper fell out. I read it, and it said: "Good things are ahead for you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10 and 13."
i always found it weird how a box by itself is a box but a boxer in a box is a warcrime
What do you call a chav in a box?
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in one day, and the box said 2-4 years!
The magician placed my sister in a “magic box,” and then “sawed” her into two
Now I have two half-sisters.
I told /u/porichoygupto's Dad joke to my wife and kids via text, my wife's response was perfect. (Link to album in the text box.)
I'm getting some good mileage out of this joke. Thanks /u/porichoygupto !!!
First. Second.
As my friend Richard sat at my dining room table, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of milk and mixed in some brown powder from the yellow box in the pantry. That is how...
My friend after a long day of hanging out: "want to go to Jack in the Box then call it quits?"
Me: "what's wrong with the name it has now?"
Took him a while to get it then he was pissed.
What do you call a box of Altoids in the pocket of a sleeveless jacket?
A plumber and a contractor were arguing about something in a huge box.
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
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