Why did the chicken say, β€œMeow, oink, bow-wow, moo”?

He was studying foreign languages.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devilmonkey6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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My Grandfather has the heart of a lion

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGregGreg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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my dad called me in the middle of class to tell me this joke

He was confused at what a habenero was, so he asked his Mexican friend who told him, "Of course man I can tell you." My dad asked to use it in a sentence. His friend said, "Alright, I wanted to go bow hunting but I didn't habanero."

I thought someone had died.

Edit: Spelled habanero wrong. Whoops. Also, wow this is big. I did not expect this much attention.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angry-elf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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β€œI think we should name the dog Vincent Van.”

So we can ask, β€œShould we let Vincent Van Go outside?” And such.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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What is the name of the art movement popularized in 1920's Germany by dogs who sought to unite art and industrial design alongside artists such as Kandinsky and Paul Klee?

Bow-wows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technicolordick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: β€œWow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: β€œYeah, well we were married 35 years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grace832
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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Whale watching...

So mom and dad have my wife and my kid along with my sister's kid out whale watching and sent us a photo of orcas they saw. This followed...

Me: killer view!
Siss: killer view!
Me: are you thinking the same as me OR CAn you not think of anything unique and are copying me on porpoise
Me: I mean I’m having a whale of a time
Me: Did you FINish?
Me: Does your boat have a motor anD/OR SAIL?
Mom (probably dad's joke tho): You are on a roll
Me: Not sure I have many lines left actually
Me: Actually I’m beginning to waver on that statement
Me: Though it seems siss has bowed out of the conversation.
Me: Maybe she’ll come up with something after I’m done
Me: have you guys SEAn (sic) anything other than orcas?
Mom: Humpback
Me: good day for that!
Wife: Very cool!
Me: Definitely looks chilly
Wife: 20 texts... Wow
Me: Definitely an imPORTant thread to watch
Me: like how i cap-size my text to make the joke obvious?
Me: siss’ silence is fishy tho
Mom: You definitely LANDed them
Me: They just come to me and I let em sail
Me: To admit some are a bit ridockulous
Me: Which can make them tough to catch
Me: but I’ll keep tossing them out there anyway for the few that land
Me: I think we lost the point of the conversation though
Me: Let's coral it back
Me: I'm being far too shellfish by uslurping it like this
Me: But Siss did have the gull to keep repeating me
Me: Buoy that one was bad

edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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